"Do you still have faith in Me?" He questions softly and I cry "Yes, I believe in You. Lord, to whom else would I ever want to go?"
He works to strengthen my hope by confronting me over and over with death. And I yell at Him "When he, when she, left that body so it's a lifeless shell, is he or she gone forever? Do they still exist? Can I trust there's life beyond this physical plane? Can I trust YOU?"
"Do you trust Me?" He whispers. And I cry even more "Lord, You know I trust You. To whom else would I ever want to go? But sometimes, it's all so hard..!"
He throws me on the potter's wheel of suffering and failure and death, all the while saying to me "But of course I ask you to continue to love people while you're suffering and failing, to be patient, to be kind, to bear all things, believe all things, endure all things, because otherwise - you're a hypocrite. You talk a good game, child of mine, but that's all that it is. A game. A front. Not really who you are in Me. If you can't love when you don't feel like loving, when you're too scared to love, when you're too tired to love, too bereft to love - do you really think you know how to love?"
His pierced hands, pierced because He loved me to the point of death, caress me, turning me, molding me into someone new, unrecognizable, beautifully strong, unbelievably resilient, with a wider mouth to open to the world, to life, and a softer heart capable of greater compassion and love.
He sings to me as He rotates the wheel " When you die and come to me, faith will no longer be needed because you'll know Me the way that I know You. Hope will no longer be needed because you'll see Me and all that I've promised you brought to fulfillment. But oh how you'll be ready to love and love and love, because I'm building you into a perfect vessel to love Me and everyone else in this world, and continue the joy of loving for eternity."