Today our families are often mixed families - families that combine races, or ethnic backgrounds, or combine religions, both Christian religions and non-Christian faiths. Or they are families that include persons with disabilities, physical, developmental, and mental.
I plan to make no judgements here. I only ask us to gaze at this wide variety of families with the mind and heart of God, Who looks with loving mercy on the Now, on the reality of situations. God's intent is always to walk beside us and guide us on our individual pilgrimages and family pilgrimages into His light and love. God meets us where we are, asking only that we are willing to grow through the discipline of prayer, and the discipline of charity.
So often, in our families today, our ministry is to Welcome the Stranger into the arms of our families, whether it is friends who visit, or new, unexpected family members. I say this, because families are little churches where God loves to be present. Families are meant by God to be safe harbors, places where people can be themselves, without fear. Oases of the greatest support that we can offer each other, especially when someone is lonely. Families are hospitals where many hands and hearts can care for the physically, emotionally, and spiritually wounded. Families, through prayer together, grow closer to God, to each other and to our human family.
God asks us to Welcome the Strangers. The new neighbors of a different color. The new date, who comes to our door after our child has been divorced, or is a widow or widower. The new boy friend or girl friend, whether of the opposite sex or the same sex, who visits in our living room. The children of a new spouse, hanging back, scared, and defensive. The Jew, or Hindu, or Buddhist, or agnostic, walking into our kitchens for a meal. God asks us to treat everyone with respect, as befits his or her dignity as God's child.
This is often easier said than done. In the case of a bitter divorce, anger can still hang in the air. New children in a family can still feel allegiance to a birth parent. People of a non-Christian faith can feel threatened by the mention of the Christian God. Children with autism can have temper tantrums; children with mental illness can become anxious or become withdrawn. Our hearts may have to stretch to welcome people who are very different from us in every way.
The Holy Spirit counsels patience, wisdom, and understanding, even when we feel in over our depth, or misunderstood. Family deaths, illnesses, or divorces wound and cripple the people affected by them. Wounded people tend to lash out, to often say things they do not mean. To act out. To weep without restraint. To become depressed. Be patient. Give comfort. Pray. God is at work - believe it. God has His own timing for healing. And He needs our hands, words, and hearts for His work.
The Holy Spirit counsels wisdom, patience, and understanding with those who enter our families from a diffferent faith tradition. Share the values you have in common. Keep an open mind to see the beauty in another tradition. God is at work in all faiths! Through a non-Christian family member, we may receive rich insight about different prayer traditions, and find God present under a different Name in a place where we never knew He lived. If God intends a non - Christian person to receive the gift of Christian faith, it will happen. For now, give witness through being yourself: "See those Christians, how they love one another." And, one might add, love all others as well.
Sometimes, we can feel so overwhelmed by our families! Sometimes we feel totally helpless. Here is where prayer is most important. Prayer is allowing God to use us as instruments to pour His love over our families. Here is an imaginative prayer experience to help us visualize how God is present to us.
Go to a quiet place. Calm your mind and your heart. Whisper the Jesus prayer - "Jesus, Lord Jesus," over and over until you feel calmness pervade your soul.
Now visualize a large dining room, perhaps your own, with all your family members gathered there, eating a meal. Even the ones who live out of town are there. Even the family members who are alienated from the rest of the family are sitting there. They are eating a wonderful meal and visiting with each other. You can smell the aroma, hear their special, distinctive voices, see their much-loved faces.
Now picture Jesus entering the room. He looks around as He enters, and smiles at the comfortable scene. You join Him as He stands behind the chairs.
Jesus reaches out His hand to you, and you take it. His hand is warm, reassuring. He says that He knows and loves every person in this room. He asks you to lead Him to each family member and to tell Him what he/she means to you and what your concerns are.
Slowly Jesus and you walk around the table. You pause behind each chair. You tell Jesus why you love this special person. Why you are concerned about this person. If tears come, Jesus' hand brushes your tears away. After you finish speaking, Jesus places His hands on the person's head. You see the person surrounded by light as Jesus pours His healing love into him/her.
Continue around the table until you have talked to Jesus about each person, and He has prayed over each one.
When Jesus has traveled around the table, He asks that everyone join hands. Jesus says
"Peace be with all of you. May you all be one as my Father and I are one."
Peace descends on your family. You know that Jesus is the Source of this peace and that this is His most fervent prayer to His Father for all those whom you love. Rest awhile in this peace. Believe that nothing is impossible with God!