"The concept of the subconscious is accepted by almost everyone today. Our minds are often compared to icebergs. Only the smaller part of an iceberg protrudes above the surface. So it is with our consciousness; the larger part, the real us, lies below the surface. Here are stored old memories, good and bad, the fresh, bright, wonderful memories of early childhood, as well as traumas so deep we wall them off from everyday awareness. Here resides our sexuality. Here too is the buried sublimity of our spirit as well as the cesspool of our darkness."
While modern society has taught us the true value of psychological counseling and psychotherapy, as well as the various drugs available to heal our brain chemistry, and we need to use these aids on our road to wellness, the deepest, surest healing can come with healing prayer: inviting Jesus into the depths of our souls. Science can help reveal many painful memories to us and begin the healing process. But God is the One Who loves us wholeheartedly, to the depths of our beings. God knows, understands, and loves all those parts of us that we don't know, or repress, or have forgotten. And affirming, accepting, unconditional Love is what heals us.
"How much useless energy is spent digging for painful memories when the real hunger is for loving affirmation - affirmation that allows the hurt we cannot reach despite all our searching and desire to come to the surface. The deeper levels of our psyches won't let go of the deeply guarded hurt until confronted with love and nurture strong enough to replace the hurt. Then, our inward parts that clutch so tightly to pain begin to trust and let go." (Ensley)
For prayer is not just a conscious conversation with God. If in our conversations with God, we often and deliberately ask Jesus to enter into our whole self, our depths, even the many rooms of our souls - our unconscious - that we've never opened or are afraid to open, Jesus can slowly, surely heal us, even those hidden parts of us. But healing doesn't come in a minute, a day, or even a year. Jesus knows how frightening it can be to look inward. We fear experiencing painful hurts. But Jesus moves gently, slowly, tenderly with us, going down into our depths only as far as we can take at a given time.
At every moment of our days and nights, Jesus stands ready, knocking at the door of our hearts, yearning for us to invite him inside so that he can touch us, and begin healing us. To open ourselves to Jesus means to hold nothing back; we can hand Jesus our relationships, our jobs, our dreams, our sex lives, the times we've been loved, the times we've been abused. We have to trust that, if remembering brings us pain, Jesus will go slowly and gently in his work. Often we have to ready ourselves to take the plunge of inviting Jesus in by deliberately setting aside alone time for healing prayer.
To begin an experience of healing prayer, Deacon Eddie invites you to relax, put on soothing music, and prepare to say "yes" to Jesus, to invite Him into the depths of your heart so he can love you.
Then, use your imagination. These are the images you come up with to describe to yourself WHAT REALLY IS HAPPENING AT THAT MOMENT. As soon as you ask, Jesus will begin your healing! Here is an image Deacon Eddie uses:
Picture your subconscious, your deep heart, as a cave, with a door blocking your entrance. Deep in the cave are your "bright gifts, learnings, parts of yourself that are rich and vital and that you have forgotten or that have fallen asleep, gifts that have never been given, a diamond mine of sparkling gems."
Also locked deep in this cave are the children of your pain: "the children that you once were, the children that were once hurt and have been buried so deeply down inside that you can't hear their crying anymore. Deep inside you, too, are the healthy children that you once were, alive and vibrant."
"As you look at the entrance of the cave, you sense someone walking up behind you. It is Jesus. He places his hand on your shoulder, and you feel the peace that his touch brings. Jesus will be entering this cave and going down into its depths to comfort the hurting children. You are not to go down with him, but you walk to the door and open it for Jesus. As he descends into the depths, you stay outside the cave door...Down inside, he is embracing the wounded children in long, lingering, tender embraces;cradling them; comforting them; enfolding them in a total love, a pure love. He wipes away their tears.
"After a long time, you hear Jesus coming back up. When he opens the door, an immense radiant light pours from the cave. In his hand is a beautiful diamond that sparkles with intense brightness. You immediately sense the meaning of this diamond. It is a part of you that has been there all along, hidden away from your consciousness. Jesus walks toward you and presses it into your hand with the palm of his hand. You feel the healing flow up through your arm. As you clutch it tightly, an incredible power rushes through your body. As the diamond merges with your hand, a vast brightness fills your whole body. Somehow you know that in the upcoming days and weeks you will discover the significance of this gift in the midst of your daily living. A new talent, a new ability to love, a new enthusiasm may begin to burst forth in you.
"Jesus goes back down again. You can hear the sounds of laughter and joy and fun from inside the cave. Jesus is playing with the children you once were. They are healthy, vibrant children. He also plays with the children that he comforted who are on their way to being healed. After a while, you hear him coming up. He walks out the door, bringing with him one of the healthy children, one of the children who is spontaneous and loves fun. What is your reaction on seeing that child, that child that you once were?"
Jesus introduces you to this child, you play together, and then the child merges into you, filling you with joy and wonder. "You suspect that in the next few days you'll be looking out on the world with a fresh, childlike wonder; a new playfulness, a new lightness, a new ease will come into your life."
Consciously ask Jesus over and over again to heal you. It takes a lifetime to be healed! I and friends of mine also in their seventies continue to ask Jesus for healing, and often find that, as we ask, Jesus resurrects memories from various experiences of our lives for us to understand in a new, deeper way, and so be released from their dark bindings.
Motivational researcher Anne White, in "Healing Adventure," makes the case for our needing the transformation of our subconscious:
"If your faith is grounded in the subconscious mind, it will sustain you through any crisis. If it is no deeper than your conscious mind, it will desert you in the moment you are off guard. Its God-given power is amazing."
Here is a Prayer from Deacon Eddie:
"Dear Lord, teach me to open up the torn parts of my soul to your deep redeeming love. Like most people, at times I have gone through times of pain and loss. Teach me to pray that quiet prayer in which I take a long, lingering look at your infinite beauty. May your beauty draw me outside of myself, so that I may spend and give myself to your world and to your church in the same way you gave to us all. Amen."