Elizabeth's life as a child seems to have been warm, in a household of loving, nurturing adults. Her father would become Pedro III, King of Aragon (an early Kingdom which later became part of Spain.) She was the great-niece of another great saint, Queen Elizabeth of Hungary, and had chosen, while growing up in a religiously fervent household, to pray the daily Office of Psalms and other Scripture readings, to attend daily Mass, and to befriend and care for the poor, the sick, even strangers, without interference from anyone. But when she was married to Denis, King of Portugal, at a young age, her life changed radically and for the worse.
The beautiful young Queen admired young King Denis; after all, he had sensitivity - he was a poet - and he also had a good work ethic - he was nicknamed "the Farmer King" because he planted a large pine forest near Leiria to prevent the soil degradation that threatened the region. But he didn't love her with a dedicated heart. Though bewitched by her at first, later she had to endure his constant affairs, which were a scandal to the people of the Kingdom, and an abuse of his power as King. Often she was friendless and alone; she had to suffer the unfriendliness and hostility of members of his court, who disliked and mocked her for her prayer life and for her continuing to leave the castle to care for the poor and sick. Probably they would have preferred a Queen who enjoyed and used her power to entertain herself and them, rather than a Queen who followed the example of Jesus, who chose to humbly serve others.
Because she was Queen in a politically motivated arranged marriage, Elizabeth could not and would not leave her husband. Elizabeth said at this time “What a life of bitterness I am leading.” Yet she added, “On whom but God can I depend?” In her loneliness, she turned to God, her Rock, and He did not desert her. God gave her the gift of patience and defused the angry bitterness which could have interiorly destroyed her. She found inner peace.
This inner peace stood her in good stead during other family traumas. There was also constant trouble between Elizabeth's son and her husband. The King and Queen's legitimate son, Alfonso, was always angry and bitter because he felt that his father favored his illegitimate sons. Eventually Alfonso's anger reached a boiling point, and he ignited a civil war, leading an armed revolt against his own father. Elizabeth knew that she was the only one who could prevent terrible bloodshed. Because her soul was fortified by inner peace, she had the courage to bravely ride out onto the field between the two armies to prevent her husband from killing his son, and she was able to broker a peace settlement between them.
After her husband died - reconciled to God because of her prayers and continuing patient love - Elizabeth retired to a convent of Poor Clares (Franciscan nuns) in Coimbra which she had founded, hoping for a life of serenity and ample time for her works of mercy. But another family tragedy struck. Her son, Alfonso, now the King of Portugal, had married his daughter Maria to the King of Spain, but Alfonso found out that Maria's new husband was neglecting and mistreating her. Infuriated, King Alfonso marched his troops into Spain. Once again, Elizabeth was called upon to be family peacemaker. In spite of age and weakness, the Queen-dowager insisted on hurrying to Estremoz, where the two kings' armies were drawn up. She again stopped the fighting and caused terms of peace to be arranged. But the stress and exertion proved too much for her and she died shortly afterward either from pneumonia or hypothermia. But once again, she had made peace.
Seeing the number of trials Elizabeth endured, we can understand why she said at one point in her life, " What a life of bitterness I am leading." Elizabeth could have remained in an inner state of constant bitterness and negativity because of all the traumas she encountered. After all, her son Alfonso chose bitterness and hatred to fuel his life choices. She could have spiritually turned against the God she had loved since childhood, and accused Him of neglecting and abandoning her. But she did not. Instead she chose to open herself to the constant flow of God's healing grace. She knew and believed that God loved her, and experienced his overwhelming love in prayer, a faithful love that healed her heart broken by the sorrow of her husband's infidelity. Because she had found inner peace, she was able to work for peace in her family. Using her power as Queen wisely, she depended on God to help her to confront first her husband and then her son when they wanted war instead of peace. She depended on God to give her the gift of peacemaking when she confronted her son and his son-in-law when they wanted war instead of peace.
Elizabeth, living in a sheltered environment among the top 1% of the country's rich, and in an aggressive, war-like society that focused on weapons for war, had different priorities - God's priorities. She knew that God is a God of abundance, Whose main priorities are justice and mercy. Instead of focusing on using her power as Queen to spend money on herself, or on protecting the Kingdom's power - and her power - by backing up spending for war and military strategies, she instead focused on how she could use her power and special advantages to bring God's justice and mercy to her people, to care for the sick, the stranger, and the poor.
By focusing on others' pain instead of her own, Elizabeth was able to rise above her own inner pain. She allowed her own pain to sensitize her to others' pain. As today's "Five for Faith" reminds us, "How did she (Elizabeth) deal with all these problems? By turning to prayer and works of mercy, including founding a hospital, a house for former prostitutes, an orphanage, and a pilgrim hostel. Elizabeth’s example counsels us not to endure abusive situations but to turn our pain into healing, both for others and ourselves." Because she was Queen, Elizabeth had many sources of funding at her disposal, and so she was able to help the poor and sick in even greater ways than she had been able to when she was young and unmarried and worked alone She was able to found institutions which would help the physically helpless and politically voiceless in an organized, structured way, and she even persuaded some members of the court to assist her.
St. Elizabeth of Portugal truly is a Queen for our time. There are lessons in Elizabeth's life for both our country and ourselves. For Elizabeth, a Queen, lived out of a conviction that there is abundance in life rather than scarcity. She had experienced the abundance of God's Love and wanted to pour His Love generously over everyone. She believed that He wanted to provide for All in her Kingdom - and that God would do so if she would trust and act with justice and mercy, and love others with God's overflowing love. As a Queen, she had power, but she chose to use her power to serve others rather than to abuse that power for her own and the rich 1%'s benefit.
But our spiritually impoverished country operates out of a conviction of scarcity, a conviction that we never have enough for all, when in reality scarcity happens because of greed and unhealthy government priorities. As Fr. Richard Rohr says, "America’s unhealthy economics and politics persist because we largely operate out of a worldview of scarcity....As one of the wealthiest and most powerful countries, the United States’ over-sized defense budget says a great deal about our priorities: $668 billion for defense vs. $190 billion for education, housing, infrastructure, and other basic services. It might appear that the U.S. is fighting fewer wars with fewer troops; however, more work is being given to private, highly paid contractors (while many active service members and veterans qualify for food stamps). Why don’t we say, “Thank you for your service!” to teachers, too? The military gives us needed security, but teachers give us the health and culture that allows us to flourish inside that security. Security is not an end itself. Human flourishing is."
Elizabeth knew that the bitterness in her heart could only be overcome by trusting that God loved her. Filled with inner peace, she was able to bring peace to her own family. We too can find that inner peace if we turn from bitterness over our own life traumas and allow our hearts to be healed and filled by God's love. Fr. Henri Nouwen says that daily we should ask ourselves,