Difficult to explain, because it truly was a painful experience for her. Octavia was probably cold and frightened in that unexpected water! Death is not comfortable either, and she was being baptized into the death of Christ Jesus so that she could enter new life as a Christian. Early Christians were fully immersed in water over their heads as a sign of drowning death, and then they arose out of that water, which paradoxically is also completely necessary for life.
Christ calls himself "Living Water" - Water Who puts our sinfulness and selfishness to death so that we can enter the new life of grace. As Christians we have to be ready for both death and life in this world, ready for the sufferings that get us in "over our heads," which then can transform us into new mature people, full of radiant, joyful life. Once we're baptized, we often have to go where we'd rather not go, do what we'd rather not do, on the road to growing up.
As described by Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, in the epilogue of John's Gospel, there is a very revealing exchange between the resurrected Jesus and the still-confused Peter:
"Three times Jesus asks Peter: 'Do you love me?' Three times, Peter replies that he does. On the basis of that confession of love, Jesus tells him: 'In truth, I tell you, when you were young, you gird your own belt and you walked where you liked; but when you grow old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will put a rope around you and take you where you would rather not go.'
"What has just been described is, in essence, Peter's baptism - and the dynamics of any real baptism into the church. Baptism consecrates us and consecration is a conscriptive rope that takes us where we would rather not go, namely into that suffering that produces maturity." (in "The Holy Longing")
When we think of something being consecrated, we think of a church building, an altar, a sacred chalice. When we think of a person being consecrated, we think of someone who has taken special religious vows and wears special clothes - a habit - like monks, nuns, and Mother Teresa.
What does the word "consecrate" really mean? "To consecrate means to set aside, to displace from ordinary usage, to derail from normalcy." (Rolheiser) To be consecrated by Baptism then means that we are called out of our normal agenda, set aside in service to the church, which is the community of faith, and in service to the common good. But - what does that mean for us? Rolheiser thinks the most perfect example of what church, baptism, and consecration really mean is the experience of having and raising children!
"A home is a church, and in a manner of speaking, it is true to say that most parents are baptized by their own children - and raised by them!
"Imagine a typical scenario. A young woman and a young man meet, fall in love, and get married. At this stage of their lives they are fairly immature. Their agenda is their own happiness and, notwithstanding that they are good-hearted and sincere, they are both still selfish wth the natural self-centeredness of youth. Then, without fully realizing all the implications of this for their lives, they begin to have children. From the moment their first child is born, unless they are very calloused human beings, they will, without necessarily wanting to, start to mature. What happens is that for the next twenty-five to fifty years, every time they turn around, a number of tiny and not-so-tiny hands will be stretched out, demanding something of them - their time, their energy, their money, their car keys, their telephone, their sympathy, their understanding, their hearts. Whether they want to or not, they will mature. For twenty-five to fifty years they will be forced, by a clear conscription, to think of others beyond themselves. All those years of practice will eventually pay dividends. By the time their children are grown, they will be mature....
"Instead of their normal agenda, they are conscriptively asked to make a lot of sacrifices in terms of lifestyle, career, hobbies, meals out, vacations, travel, and so on. Their children stand before them daily, like Jesus before Peter, asking: 'Do you love me?' If the parents say 'yes,' then, biblically speaking, their children reply: 'Up until now, you have gird your belts and walked wherever you wanted to, but now we are putting a rope around you and taking you where you would rather not go, namely, out of your natural selfishness and into self-sacrificing maturity."
A pretty accurate description by a celibate priest. But he forgot the grand-children! Until parents enter their graves, they have not only children but grand-children to give their time, energy, money, and hearts to - and a parent/grand-parent is only as happy as his/her unhappiest child/grand-child. We are indeed consecrated and conscripted people, who stretched out our hands for those wedding rings, and love and marriage "roped us in" to go where we never thought we'd go. We are tethered to love, and don't really want to escape, but oh the tears, the fears, the daily deaths to selfishness that we go through! But also the new life, day after day, - the precious conversations, the cheering for sports teams, the dance recitals, the first loves and kisses that they share with us. Who would give up such a fine conscription by love! Rolheiser continues
"Such is baptism. Such is the church. When St. Paul converts to Christianity, he is immediately given a lesson in fundamental ecclesiology (the theology of the church), one that is not very different from the one that Jesus gave Peter. Paul is told how much he will have to 'suffer for the name,' for the commitment he has just made. Scripture then points out that he got up off the ground and walked into his ecclesial future 'with his eyes wide open, seeing nothing' - which is a marvelous description of basically all of us on the day when we made our commitments in marriage, parenthood, priesthood, religious life, or any other deep vocation; we stared ahead into the future with our eyes wide open, seeing nothing, and walked, probably with some enthusiasm, into that future. How blind we were - and yet, usually, how lucky we were too. The conscriptive demands of that baptism is, to the extent that we have any, what has given us maturity and grace."
However, being baptized also consecrates and conscripts us to act for others outside our families, in service to all people. Rolheiser describes a scene which I cannot forget: it happened in the 1960's, when a woman named Kitty Genovese was stabbed and murdered in a street in New York City while more than thirty people watched from their apartment windows. None of the onlookers even called the police - they did not want to get involved. How guilty were they that they did nothing? Rolheiser says forcefully
"For a Christian, the answer is clear. Seeing that woman being stabbed consecrated them, set them aside, displaced them, and derailed them from normalcy. At that moment, they lost their freedom and were conscripted to act. If you look out of your window and see a person being stabbed in a park you are, in that instant, baptized and consecrated in the true meaning of those words. Up until that time, you could gird your belt and go where you liked, but now, seeing this, someone has put a rope around you and is taking you where you would rather not go. Tragically, that night, in New York, more than thirty people resisted their baptism. A woman died as a result."
Each one of us is called out of ourselves and beyond ourselves through our baptism. Called to consecrated lifestyles and/or vocations, such as teacher, artist, nurse, religious education teacher, environmental activist. Each of us is called to put our "lives on the line" by speaking up for the truth when we see others disregard it. We are even called to speak the truth - always in love - when our friends and family disagree with us - and that experience can be being persecuted and suffering for the Name.
To act like a baptized Christian is to honestly ask Jesus what he wants of us, and then to be brave, in the power of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes that means continuing, day after day, to be faithful to that spouse, those children, that vocation to the priesthood, diaconate, or religious or single life. But also
sometimes that means that like Jesus, we will be called upon to speak truth to power. Jim Wallis, editor of "Sojourners" magazine, says
"Truth-telling is a matter of faith for us and a fundamental principle of how we hold politics accountable. We cannot let our knowledge of both objective scientific facts and deeper spiritual truths become casualties of this administration....speaking the truth to power is a necessary and invaluable Christian practice and tradition that may become central again in our witnesss.... Perhaps John the apostle puts it best: 'You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.'"
From the day of our baptism until the day of our death, our lives are lit by the Pascal candle that first shines on us from the baptismal font and then shines on our coffins at our funerals. The Light of Christ leads us into deep waters of self-sacrifice and courage as we embrace the truth and reality of our life-commitments. We promise to go where the Light of Christ leads us and He will never desert us. He is our Way, our Truth, our Life. He is the Truth that sets us free from fear and self-involvement. May we all live as consecrated, conscripted Christians, set apart to be shining lights on mountaintops, for all the world to see.