We have to be humble to admit that we are not self-sufficient, that we need love to grow, that we aren't complete unless we have many loving people in our lives.
We have to be humble to admit to the truth that we don't know all the sides to every question or situation, and that, in an argument, we need to be able to listen to the other person's truth. Truth also requires honesty, the ability to share our inmost thoughts and feelings in a relationship that is a nest, a safe place.
We have to be humble to realize that, even though our egos want what they want when they want it, no relationship gives instant gratification. Only persistent work at communication over a long period of time brings us relationships filled with security and peace.
And, we have to be humble to admit that only faithfulness, not straying away to other loves, can build deep, trusting relationships that are a foretaste of heaven.
More than any other of our relationships, our relationship with God requires humility. Only having a humble heart opens us to acknowledging that we are not self-sufficient, that we are loved by a God Whose Presence in our lives is necessary for our very existence. We live immersed in God and God lives in the depths of us. At every moment of our lives, God is sustaining us with love. James Finley, (photo below) husband, father, writer, and psychotherapist, gives us this image: Imagine if, at the count of three, God stopped loving you into your chair. At the count of three, your chair would be empty! To know and accept this is the deepest Wisdom.
"Where must we go to see God? Nowhere! What can we do to have God? Nothing! All we can do, at least for a moment (an eternal moment) is to abandon all doing and be who we are in God and open ourselves to God’s life within us. It is then that we will at once see God and ourselves in a unity of divine love."
(from the website of the Center for Action and Contemplation, under the theme of "Heaven Now," "The Gate of Heaven," posted by Finley on May 2, 2019.)
Humility in our relationship with God also opens us to the Truth that we don't know everything, we don't know all the sides to every situation. Only the Truth of God's Word can enlighten our hearts - the Word of Scripture, and the words and actions of Jesus the Word. How often do we read Scripture prayerfully, letting God's Word, God's Voice, penetrate our consciousness? Are we disciples of Jesus, following him daily?
A truthful relationship with God can also open us to the Truth about ourselves. How Real and Transparent are we with God about what we are thinking and how we are feeling? Sure, God knows everything about us, but knowing that is different from willingly sharing who we are with God. We can choose to make everything we are thinking and feeling a prayer to God by saying, "God, please give me Your truth, wisdom, and insight, because this is what I am thinking, these are the angry, rebellious, unkind feelings I am having, about this person/situation." If then we are quiet, open, and listen, God will give us new insights into the situations and persons who are filling us with such anguish, anger, and frustration.
Further, we know that, in certain situations, we need to have an honest conversation with someone, one that could be filled with tension. Now we need to pray, asking God, "Please give me the wisdom, insight, and love to choose and use the right words. I need to be courageous and honest, and stand up for Truth, but I don't want to alienate others either."
Persistence is also key to our relationship with God. If we are Real, we can humbly admit that sometimes we are ready to give up on God because we pray and pray but it seems as if God doesn't answer our prayers, or we get an answer, and it's not the one we want. It seems as if God has become silent in our relationship. And, self-involved as we are, we want Instant Gratification! But, it is not true that God turns a deaf ear. God is always listening always acting. The Truth of Scripture and the meditations of seasoned Pray- ers like Pope Francis can help us to build up trust in God and God's way of answering prayers.
Pope Francis teaches us that prayer is not a "magic wand." Our prayers of petition aren't meant to change God; they are meant to change us. As we pray for ourselves or for another, holding who they are in our hearts, God's insights can help us understand them and their needs better, and teach us patience. First, we trust that God loves them even more than we do; then we end our prayers by placing them trustfully in God's hands. And, we need persistence and boldness in prayer; only then can God mold us, and transform us and our loved ones, making us "new." Persist in communicating honestly with God in prayer, the Pope says, even if what we ask for requires our lifetime!
The Parable of the Unjust Judge, in the Gospel of Luke, can also be called the Parable of the Persistent Widow. In the parable, the bold persistence of a widow forces the unjust judge to grant her request for justice, “so that she will not eventually wear [him] out.” (Lk 18: 1-8).
In discussing the Parable, Pope Francis says, “Widows, together with orphans and foreigners, were the most vulnerable groups of society. The rights secured to them by the Law could be easily trampled upon because, being alone and helpless, it was difficult for them to avail themselves: A poor widow, there, alone, no one to defend her, she could be ignored, even denied justice; thus also with the orphan, the foreigner, the migrant…at that time this was a very great problem.”
The Holy Father said the widow in the parable used the only weapon she had: Her persistence is presenting her request for justice, “and this persistence achieved its goal. If the widow can bend the will of the Unjust Judge, then God, who is “a good and just Father,” will “do justice to those who cry out to him day and night.”
“All of us experience moments of fatigue and discouragement, especially when our prayers seem ineffective,” Pope Francis said. “But Jesus assures us: unlike the unjust judge, God promptly answers his children, although this does not mean he does it in the time and manner that we would like. Prayer is not a magic wand!” – continued the Pope – “It helps to preserve our faith in God, and to trust in Him even when we do not comprehend His will. In this, Jesus himself – who prayed so much! – is the example.”
Pope Francis gives the example of Our Lord’s honest prayer at Gethsemane, where he prayed for the Father to “deliver him from the bitter cup of the passion.”
“But his prayer is permeated by faith in the Father, and Jesus trusts without restraint in His will: But – says Jesus – not as I will, but as you will,” Pope Francis explained.
“The goal of the prayer is of secondary importance; what matters above all is the relationship with the Father,” – the Pope continued – “This is what makes the prayer transform the desire and shape it according to the will of God, whatever it may be, because the person who prays first of all aspires to union with God, who is Merciful Love.”
"We’ve all experienced this — how many times have we knocked and found a closed door?” Francis asked. “In those moments, Jesus recommends that we insist and not give up. Prayer always transforms the reality — always. If the things around us don’t change, at least we change, our heart changes. Jesus has promised the gift of the Holy Spirit to every man and every woman who prays."
If it is hard to remain faithful in human relationships, it is also hard to remain faithful to God through the discipline of constant prayer, constant communication, constant acknowledgement that God is our All in All. Always, when we are faithful in loving God, God asks us to be faithful in loving others. Here our very actions in our relationships with others is our prayer.
A great example of holy faithfulness in our relationships are the loving actions of Blessed Fr. Stanley Rother (Born: 3/27/1935, ordained: 5/25/1963, Martyred: 7/28/1981)
A young priest from Oklahoma, he went to serve in Guatemala, where he served and lived among a native tribe who are descendants of the Mayans. He learned both Spanish and their native dialect so he could celebrate Mass in their native language. He was loved by the poor people, and, coming from a farming background, he helped them practically in many ways, including devising an irrigation system and even treating them medically. The repressive, right-wing Guatemalan Government was ordering priests to be murdered because they were standing up for the rights of the people. Rother knew his life was in danger. But he stayed, faithful to the last, because he believed God wanted him there to be God's merciful Face, Voice, Hands, and Feet.
On the morning of July 28, 1981, gunmen broke into Rother’s rectory and he was shot to death. He was one of ten priests killed in Guatemala that year.
“The reality is that we are in danger. But we don’t know when or what form the government will use to further repress the Church…. Given the situation, I am not ready to leave here just yet… But if it is my destiny that I should give my life here, then so be it.... I don’t want to desert these people, and that is what will be said, even after all these years. There is still a lot of good that can be done under the circumstances.”—Blessed Stanley Rother
Fr. Rother's example can steady and inspire us when things can tough, at home, or at the office, or parish, or in relationships, and when we feel like leaving, even though, when we are honest with ourselves, we know we should stay. He can also inspire us when we contemplate the injustices in our society and know it's time to courageously stand up for the rights of others.
Servant of God Sr. Thea Bowman (December 29, 1937 – March 30, 1990) was a majestic Pray-er in the American Catholic Church. The U.S. bishops endorsed the sainthood cause of Sister Thea Bowman on Nov. 14, 2018, during their fall assembly in Baltimore. The granddaughter of slaves, she was the only African-American member of the Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Adoration, and she transcended racism to leave a lasting mark on U.S. Catholic life in the late 20th century.
“God is present in everything. In the universe, in creation, in me and all that happens to me, in my brothers and sisters, in the church, and in the Eucharist—everywhere....
"God is bread when you’re hungry, water when you’re thirsty, a harbor from the storm. God’s father to the fatherless, a mother to the motherless. God’s my sister, my brother, my leader, my guide, my teacher, my comforter, my friend. God’s the way-maker and burden-bearer, a heart-fixer and a mind-regulator. God’s my doctor who never lost a patient, my lawyer who never lost a case, my captain who never lost a battle. God’s my all in all, my everything.
"God’s my rock, my sword, my shield, my lily of the valley, my pearl of great price. God’s a god of peace and a god of war. Counselor, Emmanuel, Redeemer, Savior, Prince of Peace, Son of God, Mary’s little baby, wonderful Word of God." (from “Thea Bowman: A Gift to the Church,” Modern Spiritual Masters: Writings on Contemplation and Compassion, ed. Robert Ellsberg (Orbis Books: 2008), 133.)
St. Elizabeth Seton said it so well: "The gate of heaven is low, only the humble can enter it." Do we think we have it all together in our relationship with God, or do we humbly realize that this most important relationship of ours needs daily tending and growth? If you want to have a REAL relationship with God, remember these important aspects of this relationship that need the discipline of daily prayer:
1) Be Open to Love. God is the One Who chose you to exist and keeps you in existence - out of overwhelming, all-encompassing Love. Can you humbly accept the reality that you are not self-sufficient, that you need God, Who is Love Itself? God Who is our All in All, our Everything?
2) Be Open to Truth. Jesus says, "I AM the Way, the Truth, and the Life." Can you humbly admit that only God Who is Truth can enlighten your mind and heart to understand Truth, all sides of the Truth? That you need to prayerfully read, know, and understand the Truth of Scripture, and be a disciple of the Truth Who is Jesus the Word, his words and actions? Can you humbly ask God to accept the Truth of all your thoughts and feelings, even the negative ones, and ask Him to enlighten you further with wisdom and insight in your relationships and tense situations and arguments with others?
3) Be Open to Trustful Persistence: God expects you to communicate your petitions over and over, with trustful persistence, as the widow boldly petitioned the Unjust Judge. That Judge listened to the woman, and granted her request. God is not unjust - God is our Loving Father. Can we humbly trust that God hears our prayers and responds, even if it takes a long time or our prayers are answered in unexpected, maybe even unwanted ways? Can we allow our prayers to enlarge and deepen our hearts, and believe that our prayers can also help to transform others?
4) Be Open to Faithfulness: Our God is a faithful God to us, to our ancestors, to all who will come after us. God asks us to be faithful in our relationship with Him through the discipline of prayer, which is daily loving communication with Him, and faithful in our relationships with others, which is also a discipline of communication and caring.
If we live in this way, open to God Who is All-Love, open to God Who is our Way, Truth, and Life, open to being trustfully persistent in prayer, open to being faithful in our relationship with God and in all our other important relationships which God has placed in our lives, then we will experience a foretaste of Heaven. As James Finley says, "Where must we go to see God? Nowhere! What can we do to have God? Nothing! All we can do, at least for a moment (an eternal moment) is to abandon all doing and be who we are in God and open ourselves to God’s life within us. It is then that we will at once see God and ourselves in a unity of divine love."