You won't give up on hope; you won't doubt your own capacity to be in a happy, long-lived marriage; you won't get tired of trying to be more mature tomorrow; you won't become discouraged if you've had a bad argument. Above all, you won't be afraid of yourself because your parents' marriage had its flaws or the marriage ended and you don't know if you have the strength and courage in you to do any better. God is with you. God will do the work in you, with you, and through you.
God created each one of us - specially and individually - with undying love, so we can each continue to grow into all we can become so as to spend eternity with Him. The more honestly and prayerfully we each open ourselves to experience the love of God, the greater capacity God gives us to love God more, to love ourselves more, to love our spouse more, to love our children more...and love goes on and on.
If we both put God first, God teaches us both what our true priorities should be in our relationship: honesty, integrity, loving self-sacrifice, faithfulness.
If we both put God first, we both separately turn to God when we feel emotionally separated from each other. So many times when my husband and I have had arguments, we've angrily left each other alone, then later reconciled because in the meantime we both have gone to God in prayer to help us understand each other - and ourselves.
It takes real maturity on our part to interiorly gaze with love upon our spouses and their unique hurts and needs and then unselfishly lift them up to God in prayer. As we pray for our spouses, God enlightens our hearts so that we understand them at an even deeper level and are able to forgive them for not being "perfect" people. Because, of course, we want them to be perfect. But they aren't, just as we aren't. And God loves and listens to our prayers and blesses both our spouses and us in new and richer ways.
Going to Church together opens up a whole new level of prayer for and with each other. Together we hear the Word of God to reflect on and be spiritually fed. For Catholic Christians, receiving the Real Presence of Jesus and His Mystical Body in the Eucharist gives us an opportunity to "receive" our spouse in a new vital way - because our spouse is part of the Body of Christ.
You need to share it with words, every day:
"I love you."
"Thank you so much for staying/being with me."
"Honey, you're the light of my life."
You need to share it with gestures. Winks. Kisses. Strokes. When my husband and I were young, we'd always "spoon together" in bed at night. Now that we're older and more arthritic, each night my husband and I kiss each others' hands before we go to sleep.
Of course, the greatest love gesture in marriage is making love, because making love well - with intimate tenderness and deep emotion - makes more love. "Intercourse" means "communication." The better you communicate your love for the other in the sexual act, the deeper each one's trust in the relationship becomes. Making love is the sacramental dimension in marriage because God living in you is making love to your spouse, and vice versa. It's true! God tangibly expresses His love for you through the deep love of your spouse. And - contrary to popular opinion, senior citizens can and should make love. You don't need a young body to make love; you need a young soul!
And, of course, play together. Tease each other. Enjoy life together. Waste time together. Let each other know in a thousand ways that you reverence, admire, and thoroughly enjoy this other person who will always remain at some level an intriguing Mystery.
Day by day, year by year, if God, your spouse, and you walk together in mutual love and faithfulness, you will begin to understand how heaven begins here. People who love deeply and faithfully have little trouble believing that love is eternal and that loving relationships endure past death. People in loving relationships have little trouble understanding that God is, above all else, Relational Love.
Invite God into your marriage. Rely on God to fill you with the love, peace, joy, and hope you need to keep moving forward and never tiring. Let each of you make God the center of his/her life so you both can grow and mature separately and together and God can and will KEEP you together. Pray for each other, make love to each other, play with each other. And you will be beacons of light in and for a world that in many ways has lost the power to dream that married love can be an everlasting joy and blessing.