It's a fissure so deep and dark that I can't find a foothold to climb out. My soul is wedged down deep in dark anger, frustration, anxiety, near-despair, even self-hate or self-doubt, so deep down that I know I haven't lost God's calming Presence, but where is He?
So often when I fall into this emotional crevasse, all my soul can do is cry out "Help me! Help me, God! I'm blind and deaf - I can't see You, can't hear Your Voice. I'm wedged in this pit so deeply, I'm paralyzed. Just please hold on to me!"
In the darkness, I cling to one prayer: Nothing can separate me from Christ's Love. I remember St. Paul, who endured riots, beatings, shipwrecks, people trying to kill him. And he still could say "What will separate us from the love of Christ? Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or the sword? No, in all things we conquer overwhelmingly through Him Who loved us....Neither death, nor life,... nor present things, nor future things...nor height nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus Our Lord." (Romans 8: 35-39.)
Sooner or later, a faint radiance pierces my darkness, a peace slips into my soul. His Presence is suddenly beside me, inside me, soothing me, easing my pain, my tears. A strong hand grasps mine. I look up and as He supports me, I climb out of the crevasse. I'm at the Lord's mountain's summit, able to look down and comprehend the panorama of His mercy throughout my life spread out before me. Dawn is breaking, illuminating the snowy peaks that surround me. Jesus, God's Son and my Sun, is the Light shining in my soul's darkness, and my darkness can never overcome His never-ending, never-failing Love!