When my son Peter was dying and after he died, I felt very close to Miriam of Nazareth, who had to endure the helpless anguish and dread of watching her beloved son Jesus, innocent of all wrong-doing, be arrested, tortured, and then executed as a common criminal. She was especially close to Jesus, and, like all mothers, had always protected him and taken care of him. Now, she could do nothing but be WITH him - and she stayed with him to the bitter end. How often I talked to her about my son and me, knowing she fully understood my anguish at being helpless because she had also been helpless once and wept as I wept.
Yet, even as I understand and relate to Miriam of Nazareth, a fully human mother, I know her also as "Theotokos," that ancient Greek title which has been used especially by the Eastern Churches since the third century, and means "God-Bearer" or "the one who gives birth to the One Who is God."
Mary is named "Mother of God" because she physically was pregnant with and gave birth to Jesus Who is both fully human and fully divine. The Church Council of Ephesus, held in 431, decreed what the Churches were already believing, - the Sacred Mystery that Jesus is both fully God and fully human, one Divine Person with two natures; and the Council also decreed that Mary is Mother of God because she is Mother of the God-Man Jesus.
Because Mary is Mother of Jesus, she is also Mother of Jesus' Body, the Church. So she is OUR mother, who stayed with the members of the fledgling Church after Jesus had ascended to Heaven, as told in the Book of Acts, and continues to pray for us in Heaven, talking to Jesus for us as she talked to him about the young couple's wedding feast at Cana. If she could talk to Jesus about something so simple - "the wine has run out - please help!" - there is nothing we can talk to Mary about that she or her Son will think is "beneath their notice."
Whenever I visit my mother, severely afflicted with dementia, at the nursing home, I wheel her to the statue of Mary holding the Infant Jesus, and, remembering the woman this statue has been created in honor of, I say the "Hail Mary" out loud for Mom. Sometimes my Mom, who prayed a daily rosary when she was well, nods and whispers some of the words with me or after me. My heart and eyes are filled with tears as I say "Pray for us now and at the hour of our death." I know and believe that Mary, Mother of God will be there waiting when it is time to bring my Mom, her faithful daughter, home.
Mary's life was filled with the greatest joys and sorrows that any human being has ever experienced. What a grace-filled life she led on earth, living in daily intimacy for thirty years with the Perfect One Who is Love and Mercy, the Son of God. Yet, from the moment of the Annunciation, the visit of the Angel Gabriel, and during the three years of his ministry, and especially during his torture and death, she also experienced unimaginable sorrow and confusion.
Fr. James Martin, in his book "The Seven Last Words of Christ," says
"Although Mary did indeed lead a grace-filled life, we cannot forget that this real-life woman almost certainly experienced a great deal of confusion. That confusion began at the Annunciation. When told that she would conceive and bear a son, she asked the angel, 'How can this be, since I am a virgin?' ...Mary's very first utterance in the Gospels is an expression of confusion....At one point in the Gospels, Mary is obviously disturbed by her son's actions. Soon after Jesus begins his public ministry, Mary travels with the rest of Jesus' extended family from Nazareth to Capernaum ...to collect him...to bring him back to Nazareth." By this point, Joseph must have been dead because he is not mentioned as being with them.
When told that his family is waiting for him, Jesus points to his followers and says, "Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother." He is reminding his followers that "family ties are not as important as ties between the teacher and the disciples. It must have been a difficult thing for his mother to hear." (Martin.)
Yet Jesus obviously loved his mother. Perhaps, Fr. Martin suggests, Jesus may have waited until the age of thirty (an advanced age in those times!) to begin his ministry to ensure that Mary was financially provided for, because the widowed Mary did not re-marry and the men of the family always provided financially for the women.
Mary went through her own spiritual journey to understand Jesus, moving from confusion to acceptance to enlightenment to encouragement. For at the Wedding Feast of Cana, as I've mentioned, she was the person - not his disciples who were also there - to prompt and encourage Jesus to perform what is traditionally considered to be his first miracle - to change water into the wine that the wedding party sorely needed. "Imagine her coming to a greater understanding of his vocation and encouraging him to be who he was called to be. Then imagine her amazed at his power. And finally, in awe of who her son is." (Martin.)
Now imagine Mary's terrible confusion and anguish to see her beloved son betrayed by Judas, one of his closest friends, betrayed by the leaders of the Jewish faith, betrayed by the crowds who had once praised him and now screamed "Crucify him!" Imagine her grief walking beside him during his long walk to the cross, watching him being brutally nailed to it. Then - "Imagine what it would have been like to hear her son say to her, 'Woman, here is your son,' and to John, the Beloved Disciple, 'Here is your mother.'
"What is Jesus doing in his last moments? He's caring for Mary. Even helpless on the cross, he is caring for her. Jesus understood both the love of a parent and love for a parent.
"....God chose to come among us in the most helpless form imaginable - a child, utterly dependent on others. God was dependent on us. And who cared most for God in his helplessness? Mary. Now, helpless again, he helps her." (Martin.)
Jesus helped others when he was helpless: the Good Thief, and Mary. This is a reminder to us that we don't have to be a professional, to have degrees, to have money, to be in good health, or to be "in control," to help others. We only need to love others, to have the desire to help, then to ask God for help, and to step forward in faith. God will use us as God wills. All God asks is for us to have the courage to step forward to help. He will be with us on our own journey of faith and service.
As God used Mary as His precious instrument, God will enlighten us so that we can encourage the "other Christs" in our lives to be all that they can be. As Mary stood alongside her son, during Jesus' hours of greatest suffering and need, we can simply be WITH others and thus be their source of strength and consolation. We can be WITH someone in a conversation on the phone. In a conversation in email or Facebook. In a hospital or Hospice or Nursing Home. At a prison or Food Pantry. At work. At our kitchen table.
Mary was filled with the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, continuing to grow in wisdom and grace until the hour when she was carried to Heaven. Now possessing a glorified body, she still comes to visit Jesus' disciples who are her children, to encourage them, to call them to repentance and to follow her Son, as she did while living on earth. At Fatima, Our Lady said in a vision "Don't lose heart. I will never forsake you. My Immaculate Heart will be your refuge and the way that will lead you to God."
Always remember that Jesus' beloved mother is your mother, too. And she prays for you always, now and at the hour of your death.