Even saints aren't immune to doubts about the existence of Heaven. Though she trusted in God as her beloved Father all her life, St. Therese of Lisieux, the Little Flower, suffered serious doubts about the afterlife when she was suffering in her final illness, tuberculosis. She said to one of the sisters in her Carmelite community, "If you only knew what darkness I am plunged into. I don't believe in eternal life; I think that after this life there is nothing."
None of us are ever completely free of doubts about life after death; all of us at some point ask ourselves about what - if anything - awaits us after we die. If we will be rewarded for the good we've done, or punished for our bad deeds. Will we ever again see our loved ones who have died? At times like this, it is good to remind ourselves of Jesus' relationship with the man we call the "Good Thief."
"One of the criminals who were hanged there kept deriding him and saying, 'Are you not the messiah? Save yourself and us!' But the other rebuked him, saying, 'Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed have been condemned justly, for we are getting what we deserve for our deeds, but this man has done nothing wrong.' Then he said, 'Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.' He replied, 'Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.'"
This is not the only time that Jesus holds out the promise of Heaven. In the Gospel of John, just before Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, he says to Martha, Lazarus' sister, "Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die." Later, at the Last Supper, he says, "In my Father's house there are many dwelling places....I go to prepare a place for you."
As Fr. Martin says, "Jesus, who heard the doubts of people in his lifetime, understands doubt - even doubts about the afterlife. So the first thing that should convince us of the promise of the afterlife is this: Jesus tells us. And, needless to say, Jesus is not a liar."
What is the character of this Jesus, who is "not a liar"? What has he done that makes him so trustworthy? If we look at who Jesus is in the Gospels, we can deepen our trust in his relationship with us and in his promises to us. He tells us in the Gospels, "Whoever has seen me has seen the Father....Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me?" (John 14: 9-10.) Jesus' face is the Face of God our Father, Who is Mercy. Jesus' life is a life lived in loving, healing relationships with people. Cardinal Walter Kasper reminds us:
"Jesus not only proclaimed the message of his Father's mercy, he lived it himself. What Jesus proclaimed, he also lived. He ministered to the sick and those plagued by evil spirits. About himself he could say: 'I am gentle and humble of heart' (Matt. 11:29). He is moved by compassion when he meets a leper (Mark 1:41) or encounters the sorrow of a mother who has lost her only son (Luke 7:13). He has compassion for the many who are sick (Matt. 14:14), and for the people who are hungry (Matt. 15:32). He has compassion when he sees the two blind men, who ask him for pity (Matt. 20:34), and he has compassion for those who are like sheep without a shepherd (Mark 6:34)....What is new in Jesus' message and distinguishes it from the Old Testament is that he proclaims God's mercy for all in an ultimate way....There is room for all in God's Kingdom." ( from "Mercy: the Essence of the Gospel.")
Even though Jesus is suffering terrible agony on the cross, he takes the time and gives his compassionate energy to begin a relationship with and work a spiritual healing for a man he has just met, a criminal who nonetheless believes that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God. Jesus promises Paradise to a near stranger, showing us once again that he is the Face of a God of Merciful Love.
In all of his healings, his preaching and teaching, Jesus allows people to encounter the Kingdom of God - his Presence makes the Kingdom present, a time when all illness, sorrow, and death will be overcome. Jesus not only talks about Heaven and life after death. He shows us what it means to be risen from the dead! Fr. Martin says "On Easter Sunday, at the Resurrection, Jesus shows us the future God has in store for us....Encountering Jesus means encountering the reign of God. And after his Resurrection, encountering Jesus means encountering the fullness of what God has in store for us: eternal life."
The risen Jesus is still in relationship with the people he loved while he lived on earth. He visits his apostles in the Upper Room, blesses them with peace, and later cooks a meal for them on the seashore. He appears to Mary of Magdala by herself, and to Peter by himself. He appears to crowds of disciples. He visits with disciples on the road to Emmaus, listens to their grief, and explains the Scriptures to them. He has a glorified body, but he is still Jesus! He shows us that we also, when we die, will remain who we are and remain in relationship with those whom we love.
It's so important to trust Jesus' personal relationship with each of us. Fr. Martin asks, "Why would God ever destroy the loving relationship God has with you? That makes no sense. Could something as small as death destroy that relationship?....As St. Paul says in the Letter to the Romans, not even death can separate us from the love of God. That relationship will last, as will our relationships with those who have gone before us. How could God possibly destroy that love?"
Let's go back to St. Therese of Lisieux. This young woman in her twenties endured her own terrible cross by dying slowly and painfully. Since our bodies and souls are intertwined, her physical pain and weakness had its effect on her soul, contributing to her dark doubting and numerous temptations. Her sisters, gathered at her bedside, wrote down her last words, as Christ's last words were recorded. And so we know that God's grace prevailed even in her final agony. She said in faith "I will spend my heaven doing good on earth." God will never allow those who love Him to die in despair! In that last spark of life, God is present to us.
When you doubt an afterlife, contemplate the Gospel of your life so far, and when and where God has been present to you. In loving relationships. In the beauty of ordinary days. In the joys of walking in the Autumnal woods, leaves deep gold and red as flame. In sledding in crisp, sparkling fresh snow. In the scents of lilies and roses. In the eager licks of a pet dog or cat. In moments of deep peace and joy in prayer. In our ability to forgive others and the joy of being forgiven. In healed bodies and souls. In holding the warmth of a new child or grandchild. Could a God who gives such LIFE to our life ever choose to undo it forever? Can a God Who is Love ever NOT be love?
God began loving you before you were born and that love will continue into eternity. One day our God of merciful love will say to you "Today you will be with me in Paradise."