We don't like the darknesses that periodically shroud our lives. We believe that the clear sunlight of success, the straightforward journey to reach our goals, is what tells us who we really are. After all, the strong always seem to have well-defined goals, to know where they're going, to believe in themselves. The strong never seem to suffer from anxiety or confusion about the right direction to take. If we do, we must be weak!
These periodic descents into Darkness topple the mast of our trust in God and ourselves. "Why?" we rage, blinded and angry. "I thought I knew where I was going; I'd planned so carefully what I'd do with my life. I was just starting to taste success! I don't know myself anymore, and I certainly don't know YOU, God!"
But, if we listen carefully to the gentle Breath that continues to fill the sails, that moves our ship of life through the stifling, terrifying night, we hear "Trust Me. Only trust Me. Trust Only Me!"
If we see with the loving, faith-filled eyes of our heart, we see the Light of God bobbing on the waves faintly in the distance, over the next billow.
Both the Biblical tradition and Jesus in particular praises faith more than love. Why? Because Faith gives us patience with those Dark Mysteries that capsize our life or send it careening out of control into the unknown. Faith teaches us to rely on the Ultimate Mystery Who is God. Faith teaches us to be patient with the Mystery of the other whom we love, to recognize that darkness, anxiety, trials and errors are a necessary part of the growth of any human relationship, and also of our part of our relationship with God.
Our God is the God of Dark Mystery and Paradox. Those whom God loves are hurled into the flood waters of uncertainty, diverted from their goals by unexpected journeys without a compass, pulled down from the sunlight of success into the utterly dark pit of slavery.
Noah was asked by God to do the most incomprehensible thing possible: build a boat. We can only imagine what his family and neighbors thought of this seemingly insane task! And, shut into that boat by God, he and his loved ones and an ark-full of creatures endured a raging flood, until God sent a wind to sweep over the earth so the flood waters would subside and they could find a new home.
Abraham, settled in his home with the goal of enjoying his old age was asked by God to pack up his household and leave that home and that land for an unknown country which he would and could only discover step by step, mile by mile.
At seventeen, Joseph had it made as his father's favorite son until his jealous brothers threw him into a dark pit, then sold him to a caravan headed for Egypt where he was sold as a slave.
Why should we be surprised then, when God sets us seemingly impossible and arbitrary tasks? Or when God shuts us up in a strange destiny, then casts us into flood waters of fear and anger? Or to find ourselves suddenly taking a journey with a serious disease to an unknown destination? Or to find our goal-driven life destroyed as we become a slave to unexpected circumstances?
Yet these men of God trusted God in faith and thus received God's best promises. God promised Noah a covenant between God and His people, never to be broken. God promised Abraham that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars in the sky and that he would be the father of many nations. God remained with Joseph throughout his ordeal and made Joseph the salvation of his people as they escaped famine and certain death by joining him in Egypt. If we also have faith, who knows what quiet wonders God will also work through us and our lives?
Fr. Richard Rohr tells us
"God teaches the soul most profoundly through darkness - and not just light! We only need enough light to be able to trust the darkness. Trials and darkness teach us how to trust in a very practical way that a good God is guiding us. I don't need to be perfectly certain before I take the next step. Now I can trust that even my mistakes will be used in my favor, if I allow them to be. This is a wonderful way to grow in human love too, by the way. Darkness, mistakes, and trials are the supreme teachers. Success really teaches you nothing; it just feels good."
He adds
"Love is the source and goal, faith is the slow process of getting there, and hope is the willingness to move forward without resolution and closure.....People who have these three gifts are indestructible."
Going by God's logic then, we can be our strongest when we are weak. We can be our most hope-filled when we are deluged with anxiety. We can be progressing the most in faith when we sit in the pit of dark doubts. We can be the most loving when we feel positive emotions the least and only will our actions. Thus God casts us into the fire to purify us. And, following God's logic, when we possess faith, hope, and love when we least expect it of ourselves - we are indestructible! The Wind of the Holy Spirit, the Lighthouse of the Father's Love, the imperishable Compass of the Son's Love are guiding us Home.