But we are slow to reach out to him. Slow to reach for the hem of his garment. Slow to ask him to stop, look into our eyes, wait to listen to us. Slow to say to him, "My heart is bleeding inside, and my strength is near gone. Help me."
But he is walking by at every moment of our lives. Surely the moment comes when we reach out to him - doesn't it? Surely we don't let him walk to the edge of the horizon and out of sight? That would be our greatest tragedy.
Are we afraid to ask him to pause, come over next to us, and listen? Are we afraid that our faith is too weak, too uneven and uncertain, for him to care about us?
Listen to his voice:
"It's not the strength of your faith that saves you, but my strength.
I know who you are, I know your weaknesses, your faith that rises and falls like the tides, waxes and wanes like the moon. Don't let your faith depend on the circumstances of your life. Let your faith depend solely on me.
I have come to free you from your illusions, your self-delusions, your rationalizations, your self-pity, your self-doubt, your petty resentments, your only half-contained aggressions.
I stop in front of you so that you can open the ancient gates you've installed to bar your heart. I've stopped so that you can open your heart and invite me to enter inside and stay with you.
Don't be afraid to ask me to stop and be with you. Don't be afraid to open your heart to me and speak out the deepest desires of your heart."
Does Jesus hear our agonized prayers for our loved ones, for the sick, for those who are angry with us, for all the needs we've stored up inside? Of course he does. But he is the Divine Physician. He knows the proper medicines, the remedies which can include surgery. If we have faith in him, we depend on him to choose what brings the greatest healing and growth for us and for every person and situation that is part of our lives.
We trust Jesus to know what he is about. To know how to tend the one who is the stiff, prickly cactus, and how to be gentle and not break the one who is a bruised reed.
It's not the amount of our faith that matters. Our faith can be small and weak as a mustard seed. What counts is our willingness to simply ask him to stop as he passes, so he can be with us. Once he is with us, even if we only have faith strong enough to reach the hem of his garment, his power pervades our lives -
The power that created and sustains the universe
The power that formed the beauty of earth
The power which is the Beginning and Goal of all beings and all things
The power that continually gives breath to our bodies and works to make all things new and vital in our changeable lives
The power that continually transforms death into resurrected life
The power which is Love and unites all creation in the dance of life
The power that humbles itself and takes on flesh like us, black flesh, white flesh, brown flesh, yellow flesh, red flesh
The powerful, divine flesh who holds a refugee child to his bosom and gives spiritual drink to the thirsty prisoner, who bestows generous forgiveness to the guilty thief and adulterer, and upholds with strength the drug addict and alcoholic, who wipes the tears of the gay man whose lover has deserted him, and the tears of the mother who has aborted her child, who challenges the rich man to share his money and goods, and the poor man to speak out to those who use and abuse him, who is Father to the Fatherless and Mother to the Motherless, who tenderly holds us even as he gently challenges us - "Oh you of little faith! Oh you who are afraid of what I can do for you and in you and with you if you only ask me to stop as I'm passing by... "
The great Physician listens to all that we say, but he is the one who chooses how to reply to us. When to reply to us. Where to reply to us. Do we trust his heart to supply not our wants, but our genuine needs? To love all whom we love with a love greater, deeper, wider, and unfathomably wiser than our love? To understand what our real sicknesses are that need healing or rooting out rather than the sicknesses we think are so critical and bothersome?
Our Lord Jesus is not a video game whom we can manipulate by the size and agility of our faith, not a casino game that springs open to rain what we want into our laps if we say the right amount of prayers to jerk the lever. No, our Lord is a person in relationship with us, who knows us to the marrow of our bones, who depends on our openness and vulnerability to respond to his Love and his gifts of wisdom, knowledge, patience and strength, to reenergize our lives.
How many times a day does the Lamb of God pass us by? How many times a day do we not hear his footsteps because we are arguing with our husband, wife, or child, or our ears are filled with our I Pods, or the sounds of a YouTube video, or the chatter of our typing a new message on Facebook?
How many times a day does he pass us by and we do not hear his voice because our minds are fixated on the latest catastrophic bill we have to pay, or the relative we have to take to a Doctor's appointment, or the latest political scandalous act that has us infuriated?
Despairing, bleary-eyed, paralyzed by anger or fear, we don't always see him, or hear him, or feel the hem of his garment touching and caressing the edges of our souls.
But, moment by moment, he is passing by. It's worth the weight of our souls to ask him to stop. To look in our eyes. To listen to what is making our hearts heavy, doubtful, angry, sad. To hear him say, "Come to me and I will give rest to your soul. Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart. Pick up your cross and follow me. I am your Living Bread come down from Heaven. I am your Living Water. I am the Treasure your heart seeks. Your faith may be the size of a grain of mustard seed, but it can grow and flourish through my strength in you."
Jesus is the Lamb of God, the Divine Physician, passing by at every moment of our lives, always out looking for those who need him most. And that's always and everywhere us.