If you hadn't married that person then, even if the relationship ended, you wouldn't have this precious child now.
If you hadn't followed your heart or gut, and left one job for another then, you might have had a happier job, but you wouldn't have the financial security you have now.
If you hadn't taken the risk then, and tried that volunteer job you weren't sure you were suited to, you wouldn't be such a happy volunteer now.
If you hadn't gone unwillingly for that physical then, you wouldn't be on life-saving medicine now.
If you hadn't decided to live then, instead of of committing suicide because your world had collapsed, you wouldn't be looking into the wonderful sunshine and at the gifts of friends around you now.
If- if - if - that's a mantra, and sometimes a sorrowful one, as we look at the dark parts of our journeys, the ones that don't make sense, that make us weep, the times when the idea of a loving God seemed like a joke, and life seemed to have no meaning but suffering.
Yet if we look at the whole of our journey so far, we also can see, in faith, the One Who fashioned us in our mother's womb, Who made us so wonderfully, Who knows when we sit and when we stand, Who knows our thoughts, Who knows our choices in advance and somehow works with them to fashion not only our life but the lives of countless others whom our choices affect.
We can touch in our minds or with our fingers the multitude of gifts God has given us, the countless occasions flooded with love, joy, and peace. "How precious to me are Your designs, oh God; how vast the sum of them! Were I to count, they would outnumber the sands; to finish I would need eternity." (Psalm 139,)
"Such knowledge is beyond me," says Psalm 139, " far too lofty for me to reach." But if we can trust our all-present, all-knowing God, we can pray
"Probe me, God, know my heart; try me, know my concerns. See if my way is crooked, then lead me in the ancient paths."