Even St. Therese of Lisieux, the Little Flower, occasionally wished that she could read and understand the writings of the Big Saint Teresa of Avila. Both were Carmelites. But the Little Flower stayed in her convent and led a quiet ordinary life. Her autobiography is very simple, plain, and straightforward, unlike the mystical musings of St. Teresa of Avila, who was very high-profile and traveled the country forming new convents in the reformed style she preached about to Bishops, priests, and other religious.
Little Therese could not understand Big Teresa's deep spirituality in the least. But she understood what God wanted of His children - and the two saints agreed on that. As did the THIRD great St. Teresa - of Calcutta! All three say it in different words, but the message is this: Strive to do the Will of God, and the Will of God is what happens in your ordinary daily life. The Will of God for you is to take care of the people He puts in your life. What matters is not the size and importance of the deeds we do, but the depth of love with which we do them.
St. Teresa of Avila says "Prayer alone can do a lot of good for the people you pray for. Beyond that, it's not necessary to try to help the whole world. Concentrate on your own circle of companions who need you. Then whatever you do will be of greater benefit."
Our own circle of companions is usually our family, our friends, our co-workers, and our neighbors. Our family is usually the hardest to care for because we are so emotionally involved that we feel their hurts most deeply and because we're so close to them that often we don't understand them as well as an outsider does. And usually what we do for our family can be such simple things: preparing meals, doing laundry, watching a sick child, taking an elderly relative to a Doctor's appointment, painting or fixing up an old house. We do the same jobs over and over again. Yet these are all wonderful works of mercy! I know that over the years when I've been cooking a meal or doing laundry, or washing a floor, I've pictured my loved ones who would benefit from my work, and my heart has lifted with a joy that gave me strength when I was so tired and worn. Love makes all the difference!
St. Teresa of Calcutta and her nuns traveled the streets of that badly over-crowded city, carrying the rejected dying to a place of comfort and clean bedding, rescuing orphans, and the sick. She founded Houses for these abandoned people, and her Order has spread throughout the world. Yet her nuns would have no work if families took care of their own!
I know grandparents, aunts, and uncles who have taken in and raised children whose parents died or who could not take care of them. I know parents devoted to badly disabled relatives. I've seen people coming to nursing homes on a regular basis to visit and feed relatives who did not know who they were any longer. I know "families" of nuns and religious women whose faces are lit with kindness towards all. This is the sacred and noble work of families! And if we have hearts made tender by love, that love emanates from us like a flower's perfume. St. Teresa of Calcutta says
"Love begins by taking care of the closest ones, the ones at home....Spread love everywhere you go: First of all, in your own house. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness, kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness..."
Being a living expression of kindness was a virtue that the Little Therese struggled with as one of the youngest nuns in a whole convent-full of grumpy elderly nuns, some of whom undoubtedly were afflicted with dementia. Anyone who has taken care of someone with Alzheimer's or Dementia knows that so often someone with either of these diseases is unreasonable, aggressive, liable to fly into a rage, forgetful. It cuts your heart when they forget who you are!
St. Therese practiced patience and kindness when it would have been far easier to snap back at nuns who often were her tormentors. Although she had dreamed of becoming a heroic missionary in foreign lands, her fragile health - she suffered with tuberculosis - prevented her from realizing her hopes. So she became reconciled to being whom God called her to be, practicing a quiet heroism of loving patience. She counsels us
"Holiness consists simply in doing God's Will, and being just want God wants us to be....If every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness.....A word or a smile is often enough to put fresh life in a despondent soul."
I've received - and seen - two different types of bouquets. One is the classic bouquet of roses, all an identical color, all long-stemmed and gorgeous. But I prefer the other type of bouquet, composed of a variety of lovely flowers, different kinds, sizes and shapes, the glorious showy day lily nestled next to the tall stately iris with simple, nodding tulips and ferns in between. Obviously God prefers variety - just look in a field and see the infinite variety of wildflowers blooming there. We bloom where we're planted, in field or garden, in the size, shape, and personality that God has given us - and then God is pleased with us.
Great Teresa also counsels us to be simply ourselves - and never to underestimate the good that we can accomplish:
"Do you think that your deep humility, your self-sacrifice, your bountiful charity and commitment to being of service to all beings is meaningless? The fire of your love for God enkindles other souls. You awaken them through the living example of your own virtues. This is no small service! it's highly pleasing to the Lord. Do what you can do. His Majesty will understand that you yearn to do much more. And He will reward you as if you had guided a thousand unknown souls to Him."
Taking care of family and friends is exhausting, time-consuming work. The phone calls. The visits. The agonized prayers. The worry. Holding your tongue to prevent an argument with a teenager. Trying to take care of the mentally ill and the addict and the willful adult child who will not listen to good advice. Forgiving someone who has hurt us badly. We can feel like failures much of the time. But these three great women, three different kinds of beautiful flowers, remind us that God looks at our hearts, at our love, at our persistent endurance. And the final results of our labors are up to Him, not to us. We may be full of tears, only planting seeds. God brings those seeds to fruition. God sees us all as important, irreplaceable flowers in a vast bouquet of beautifully different human beings, each as wonderful as the other. All He asks is that we bloom where He's planted us.