But many of us do. Here are some of the reasons,and maybe you're already learning these truths and living them:
- You can be more relaxed. Women don't feel obliged to always use mascara, eye liner, and eye shadow, and sometimes don't even bother to wear make-up when they go out to dinner. Men's work ties gather dust in their bottom drawer. Making love can still endure, with some realistic adjustments. But, since it's more relaxed, it's less stressful when it doesn't have to be "perfect" by a twenty year old's standards.
- You don't feel the need to hang your diplomas or awards on your study walls any longer because you no longer feel a need to "prove" yourself.
- You can laugh at yourself. You can look back at your life and see the mistakes you've made, your episodes of emotional, self-absorbed silliness, your constant mixed motives in everything you've ever done - and you laugh at your former self-importance. You heartily encourage others to kick perfectionism to the curb and laugh at themselves, too.
- You can take enjoyment of life to a new level. Now there's time in the morning to watch the sun come up and feed the birds and later call a friend to go to lunch and actually read several novels during the week or the daily paper.
Time to go to ball-games. Time to see more of your grand-children and concentrate on their lives and see first-hand the beautiful circle of life. Time to spend time praying. Time to look, really look, at your loved ones' faces, savor their laughs, cup their warm cheeks in your hands, tell them you love them. These, you say to yourself, are my priorities. My gifts.
- You are keeper of many years of family memories, and you can share them now, maybe even write them down, to teach family members about their roots. Now this child hears of the great-grandfather who had a red beard. That child finds out about the aunt who had brown eyes. This child discovers through you that this family member loved to paint, and that one loved science. We tell the compelling stories of ancestors' bravery, and their persecution. How they felt when they came to this country. The privations they suffered. Their determination, their endurance, their joy at their new freedom. The inspiration they are to us all. We physically connect the past to the present and make present the reality of family, the reality of the Communion of Saints.
Above all, you've learned in your aching bones and joints about the shortness and fragility of life. How precious it is. How it's all the time we have and it could end at any minute. You've seen up close the ineradicable sadness of those relatives who hold grudges, and then grieve when the person they avoided has died without a chance for their reconciliation.
You've learned that in the big scheme of things all of us goof off and mess up and need forgiveness - and that once you've been forgiven and have also forgiven yourself, that it's much easier to forgive others. That God is so much greater and more unknowable and loving and merciful than you ever suspected as a young person, and that He doesn't condemn others as much as you thought, and now you hope and suspect that many more people get to heaven than just your own religious group. Because the Reality of Love is a glorious Truth, beyond your humble, limited comprehension.
Somehow,once you grow older, you feel a lot freer about being yourself. You actually like yourself now because you're not constantly comparing yourself to others. You've learned the wisdom of encouraging people rather than critiquing them because you've learned to go easier on yourself. You know that in the long run it's God Who "grows" us, quietly works to soften our hearts, quietly helps us overcome our addictions and obsessions, quietly loves us into loving ourselves. All we do really is welcome His Presence and hold on for the ride.
We're closer to Death now, and Sister Death gives us perspective. All that we've lived, all the people we've loved, all the people we've lost, all the good and bad experiences we've had, have formed us into the beautiful persons whom we are. And we're ready. ready for the next stage of our living. Ready to walk through the door of Death into Life Part II. With all the wonder, beauty, and love we've found here, we can hardly wait!