Maybe we say to ourselves, "But I should be able to do this, get this mess under control, dominate it." That seems to be the operative word today: Dominate. Your country should dominate the world, and we should be able to dominate our own lives.
But life doesn't work that way. God doesn't work that way. God isn't a Dominator. God is Merciful, Healing Love and works in our lives through Merciful, Healing Love. If our lives have messy elements, often we've put them under a self-protective shield so that other parts of us - and God - can't get to the mess, can't change it. Brute force or dominance won't penetrate that shield, or change our lives or our hearts. Only Love can give us the courage and self-knowledge that we need for change to happen. God alone can say to us, "Behold, I make all things - including YOU - new."
But our courteous, servant God won't enter our lives unless we actively invite Him to enter, over and over again. God is the One with the Vision of who we can and should be. And He will bring that vision to completion - if we only trust how much He loves us.
God is the Divine Physician. God-in-Christ has healed us of our sins by absorbing the poison of sin and death into himself on the cross. God supports us as we navigate through all the destructiveness that sin wreaks in our lives. Because God doesn't spare us the destructiveness that our actions have caused. God made us to be free and accountable to ourselves, others, and Him. Often Physicians need to lance a festering sore, and it hurts. God is the Divine Physician Who can lance our festering sores, bind up our wounds, heal us of all the brokenness in us that comes from unresolved anger, fear, bitterness, hostility, and addictive behavior, one messy day at a time.
But - if we don't trust enough in God's capacity to work these "ordinary miracles" in our lives, God can't work with us and in us. Sometimes, we don't accept that God is a patient God Who meets all of us where we are, and that deep healing takes years to unfold. When, for example, relatives have separated from each other, it often takes years before each relative finds the maturity and inner strength to actively desire reconciliation. Do we trust reconciliation can happen, and keep on praying and working for it until it happens? Don't forget - God wants mutual forgiveness and reconciliation among all of us infinitely more than we do!
Overcoming the sickness of addiction takes years and often many stumbles before it can be healed. Yes, I know we pray, "Lord, help us to hasten to you and not to stumble," but we all stumble many times every day. Addicts' stumbles are often more dramatic, dangerous, and heart- breaking - for them and for everyone whose lives they affect.
Bradley Jersak personally knows the power of the Divine Physician, Who pursues us for years to love us and heal us. He tells the story of a woman he knew who, because of childhood trauma and family dysfunction, began in her early teens to struggle with alcoholism. In her early twenties, she was rescued from a drug house by a man who later became her husband. By her thirties, she was still unable to break the habit and couldn't stay sober for more than three months at a time.
But God knew that her real thirst was for His Love. She discovered Jersak's faith community, and learned that real prayer is a face-to-face meeting with a Living Friend Who is faithful forever. She began to pray for others and lead them to meet Christ. She brought her children to church, although her husband remained on the margins.
But she was still struggling with alcoholism, still sometimes showing up drunk at home Bible Study meetings, as if to test whether people really liked her and accepted her. Finally, she fell off the wagon completely. She left her family. On the streets, she often used a cardboard box for shelter. She found a new boy friend and often lived with him in his vehicle. Even then - even when stoned - she would pray with other addicts and teach them how to meet Jesus.
Meanwhile, her marriage ended in divorce, she began injecting drugs and contracted Hepatitis C, her mental health was breaking down, she had run-ins with the police, and almost died because of several over-doses.
And what did God do? Jersak tells us,
"He came looking for her. Like the Shepherd looking for the lost, entangled lamb, he pursued her. He began his quest from inside her heart, for he had never really left her.
"First, God inspired her ex-husband to welcome her and her boyfriend into his home, where he and the kids detoxed the couple for several weeks. Then they were admitted into recovery homes for drug addicts.
"During the recovery phase, one day she sat down and had a heart-to-heart with Jesus. In effect, she said, 'I'm so sorry. You gave me a faith, a home and a church family. And I lost it all. I've lost my husband, my children, my house and my health. I ruined it. I'm not even asking you to fix this. I just want you to know that I'm so, so sorry.'
"And what did God do?
"In her heart, she saw Jesus take her needle kit, fill the syringe with drugs, tie off his arm and empty the contents into his own veins! What?! Jesus can't do that! And so she told him! But is this not exactly what Christ has done for every one of us? On the Cross, has he not drawn all our sin and sorrow and sickness into himself, assuming the entirety of the human condition precisely in order to heal it?
"She heard him ask, 'Do you feel the grief as I do this? That's what I felt for you every time you used.' Not anger. Not disgust or disdain. No shaming or guilt-tripping. Only his grief. And something amazing happened: the cravings left. The need to self-medicate was gone. He gave her the gift of sobriety, gave her a path to recovery, and without going into another full chapter, healed her hepatitis...Over ten years later, she is still clean and sober."
Eventually she reconciled with her children, her ex-husband (later re-married) forgave her, and her boy friend also met Christ in recovery. Today those two are married and both couples work together to raise the children. Her new husband has started a landscaping business that hires and trains addicts in a new trade, and she went back to school, completed her MA in marriage and family counseling, and now works hard in that field. Her husband just passed the ten year mark of sobriety. God has made everyone involved in this near-tragedy new again; and restored family life. Yes, grace is that kind. Jersak says,
"This truly is the God who never turns from us, never abandons us, and will walk with us through the mess of life. I know it because I witnessed the whole thing!" (in "A More Christ-like God.")
When we turn honestly to God in the middle of the mess of our lives, when we look at ourselves with clarity, and apologize to God for the mess we have made, we free God to work unimaginable healing for us and in us. If we can truly accept that God loves us, God will pour His own life - grace - into our hearts so that we can break whatever chains bind us and hold us back from becoming who God wants us to be. If we look back at our lives, we can see what He has done for us. If we allow Him to love us completely and accept that His love is real, He can work miracles of healing for us now. And, because we will continue to face tragedies and temptations until the day we die, He will continue to offer us healing and redemption until we are made completely new in Heaven. Because that's who God is.
"God never turns away from humanity. God is perfectly revealed in Jesus. When did Jesus ever turn away from sinful humanity and say, 'I am too holy and perfect to look on your sin?' Did Jesus ever do anything like that? No. The Pharisees did that. They were too holy and turned away. God is like Jesus,not like a Pharisee.
"The gospel is this: when we turn away, he turns toward us. When we run away, he confronts us with his love. When we murder God, he confronts us with his mercy and forgiveness." (Jersak)