Often in their brokenness people lash out at others. But wounding others does not mend our wounds. Excessive self-pity locks us up in a dark, arid pit where our wounds fester, deprived of healing air and light and love.
We can choose to see our brokenness as a crippling disability and drown in self-pity. Or we can see our brokenness as a way station on the path to deeper growth and greater wholeness.
That fervent Jew (who also uses Christian imagery in his writing) Leonard Cohen says, "There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." The more self-aware and accepting we are about being "cracked," the more consistent we are in admitting our inconsistencies, the more humble we can become and the more understanding and respectful of others. Humility changes our cracks to open windows which allow the healing Light of God to flood our souls. Then we are enlightened to see ourselves and others with God's vision instead of our own, which is so woefully blind.
Our egos can rage against our own brokenness and the brokenness of others. Our minds can keep up an almost violent, accusatory monologue, criticizing ourselves and others, not ready or willing to accept anything less than perfection. Yet God works slowly, gently, gradually inside everyone and in all situations, urging us to non-violent respect, understanding, and the seeking of common ground in all our relationships.
Our greatest brokenness resides in this highly negative, judgmental ego of ours that insists on separating people into the "worthy" and "unworthy," the "in" and the "out," the "right" and the "wrong" without acknowledging that all of us are unworthy and often wrong. This is what I would call "attitudinal violence."
Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, a powerful woman but a humble one, understood the value of non-violent respect for others' viewpoints and the value of seeking common ground with others. "In February 1994, Teresa addressed the Washington National Prayer Breakfast. She focused on abortion. Nobody at President Clinton's table applauded. Clinton would later apologize. The breakfast made possible a conversation between Teresa and Hillary Clinton. The women agreed on the issue of adoption. A year later, Hillary visited a Missionaries of Charity home in New Delhi. Shortly afterward, June 19, 1995, a children's shelter opened in D.C." (Charles DeCelles, in "The Catholic Leader" magazine, Vol. 14.)
In an era in our country when a movie about war violence and a sniper who kills fanatical Muslims is more popular than a movie about a non-violent leader, Martin Luther King, Jr., Blessed Teresa further shows the path of non-violent respect for non-Christians in her relationships with Muslims. In Albania, she was instrumental in restoring many Churches which had previously been used for secular purposes. However, she also insisted upon opening a mosque for Muslims and personally swept it clean for them. She never tried to convert a Muslim or Hindu to Catholicism. She told her sisters not to speak of Jesus but simply to BE Jesus with people who were non-Christians. She had the wider vision and humility to acknowledge and respect others' paths to God.
Leonard Cohen reminds us "Children show scars like medals. Lovers use them as secrets to reveal. A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh." Jesus, the Word made Flesh, showed his woundedness - the wounds in his hands, feet, and side - to his disciples when he rose from the dead and returned to them, unworthy as they were. They were his badges of honor, tangible proof of his love for us. Our wounds and brokennesss can also be badges of honor if we allow God to use them to transform us into humbler, more understanding, and compassionate people.