I don't know what it's like where he is. I don't even know what he looks like any more. Or how he thinks or feels. I take it on Faith that he is alive; I can't believe my son Peter's life, so very vibrant, could be over. I flinch inside when I drive past the intersection of his old street, past the Knights of Columbus Hall where we held his Benefit, past the Funeral Parlor, or near the Church he was buried from. I tremble inside when advertisements for Roswell Park Cancer Institute play on the T.V. Terrible, tragic, memories awake and shrivel my heart. Then I remember his arms around me and hear his laughing voice in my ear, and somewhere inside I hear him singing. For now, Love has to fill the gap between Here and the unknown There where he's still singing, eternally in love with music. Love fills the gap between us.
I don't know if he's lying or telling the truth. He stands leaning against the wall of the Towne Restaurant downtown and somehow our eyes catch and linger. He speaks quietly "I'm hungry, I haven't had food in the house for a few days. Could you give me some money I can spend at the store around the corner and get me a cup of Java?" Paul offers to take him inside and buy him a meal but he shakes his head. He doesn't have the practiced air of some con artists we've met; but who knows?
Now my husband's and my eyes meet and Paul opens his wallet and hands the man some money. He is so grateful: "Thank You! God bless you!" I look deep into his eyes and say "God bless YOU." What I want to say is "Please - please - don't use this money on drugs or booze!" He takes off around the corner and I think that Love has to take over, love has to build a bridge from our souls to his, build a lifeline, if not now, perhaps later. God's Divine Spark lives in him and in us and we are brothers and sisters of the same Heavenly Father. For now, whatever this stranger chooses to do with our gift of Love, Divine Love has to fill the gap between us.
I can look at my life and shake my head because I don't always see any tangible results of my loving. Sometimes my Love seems so weak, so half-hearted, so grudgingly given. Sometimes my love seems unable to fill the gap between people who no longer speak to each other.
But Faith tells me, that in the end, Love is a Person - God - and God is the One I give in every word, touch, action. God - Love - fills the gap between all people on earth, between the living and the dead, between the alienated who are at war with each other, between the sick and the well. God is Perfect Love! Love accomplishes all things because it patiently endures all things and will triumph over all things. We will not see until eternity what every loving gesture of ours has accomplished, no matter how half-hearted or feeble. Here we take it on trust that God fills the gap in the amount of love we expend. God stretches our love and molds it and warms it and deepens it - so that always, always, "LOVE NEVER FAILS!!" (1 Corinthians 13:8.)