We choose to say "I love you" instead of giving in to a fear of intimacy or of being hurt.
We choose to say "I have hope that my life can be good" instead of giving in to a fear that our lives are worthless, a fear bordering on despair.
We choose to say "I believe in God," instead of giving in to a fear that we are irrational and overly dependent for believing in a Being Whose existence can't be "proved" by the empirical studies of Science.
Every time we say "I love" or "I hope" or "I believe," we surrender ourselves to Someone, a Reality, that is bigger than ourselves. When we're grieving or depressed, this is very hard. We want to curl up into a tight little ball, our prickly feelings sticking out to protect ourselves, dangerous as the quills of a porcupine. "Come no further!" our attitude shouts. "I don't need anyone!"
No, we don't think we need anyone when we've been hurt. We never want to love again. We never want to surrender our vulnerable selves again. But love (Whose Name is God) creeps into our souls below the radar of our consciousness, quietly stirring up a desire in us to become part of humanity again. We're faced with a choice: do we love and truly live again, or do we exist, mimicking life, but radically, selfishly alone? Yes, love is a choice.
When we come close to despair and feel worthless, hope (Whose Name is God) quietly whispers to us that we have incredible dignity and worth, that we deserve to live, that our lives have a purpose, that there is important work for us to do, that there are other lives whom only we can touch. We're faced with a choice: do we have hope and choose to live with uncertainty, confusion, and mystery, but also with an abiding inner certainty that life can be a banquet and that joy abounds - or do we choose to end it all by committing suicide? Yes, hope is a choice.
If we can't "feel" God or find God because we've been taught that only things provable by Science exist, if we think that it's "weak" to believe in God, and that ourselves are enough, we can choose to not believe. And God Who lives within us surrenders to our choices - yet still lives and moves within us, urging us to find Him. We can choose to not believe because we are so angry and hurt that we shut God out, holding Him responsible for our pain.
We can choose to not believe because no one has ever taught us that faith slowly grows in us, that it's not full-grown at first, that even if we cannot scientifically prove God's existence, logic demands that we make a choice about the origin of this universe. Either this universe created itself in some way - which no other living thing has done - or this incredibly intricate, wildly original and creative, continuously evolving universe, was set into motion by Someone ineffably greater than it is. Either our lives have purpose, or life is an insane joke. We can choose to take the great risk - and the only risk worth taking - of saying to Whomever may be listening "God, Whoever and Whatever You are, I choose to believe in You. You have to take it from here."
The risk of choosing to love, to hope, to believe, takes surrender, and surrender takes humility. It takes humility to admit that we are not self-sufficient. It takes humility to admit that our lives have meaning and worth far above and beyond our own "take" on our existence. It takes humility to admit that human beings are not the center and the masters of the universe.
No one can "see" love or hope or faith. But once we choose to welcome them into our souls to give meaning to our lives, we experience their effects in so many profound ways. Now love reveals the radical interconnectedness of all life in the universe - and all life is a sister or a brother. Now hope reveals the awesome, overarching Mystery that every word, every action of ours can be full of saving grace, that even suffering can teach us, that we can be wounded healers overflowing with compassion and achieve incredible, life-giving intimacy with others who suffer. Now faith reveals God at work in every event in our lives and slowly His face comes clear to us, a Face of everlasting, faithful love, protection, guidance, and tenderness. Now life itself is revealed as abiding peace and joy!
Love is the central Truth of our existence. We choose to love, hope, and believe because we love and are tender with ourselves, we love the all-too fragile people who surround us, and we love the God Who IS Love and Who created us to live in love. What a gift we are to ourselves, and to others, and, most magnificently, what a gift we are to God! Because the greatest miracle, the greatest sign that we are unutterably precious and of great worth, is that this God Whom we choose to believe in lovingly created us as a Gift to Himself.