I talked to God awhile, using Intercessory Prayer, asking for help for my loved ones. But suddenly I realized that I was getting more and more obsessed, more and more nervous as I told God how my relatives were suffering, and even suggested how God should, in my estimation, "fix this." God already knew what my relatives were going through. God was already at work in their lives. God didn't want me to stress - God wanted me to trust in Him.
So I changed my prayer. I remembered one of my favorite psalms that I've memorized, and I began to silently recite it slowly to God, savoring the words, allowing them to sink deeply into my heart like balm. I was shifting my attention away from myself and my worries so that I would concentrate on God and God's powerful goodness.
"Oh God, You are my God, for You I long..... For Your Love is better than life.... " I began. "Yes," I thought, "God is the One Who is the Center of my life." I moved slowly through the majestic, yearning words, to "My mouth shall praise You with joy..."
Immediately I found myself experiencing deep joy as a tide of wonderful memories flowed over me - all giving me the reasons why I am thankful for the ways that God provides for my loved ones and me. "Yes," I thought. "My relatives are going through hard times. But there is joy in their lives too because of God's faithful goodness to them. They have people whom they love and who love them. They have good times to balance the suffering times."
The next lines brought tears to my eyes: "On my bed I remember You, on You I muse through the night, for You have been my help. In the Shadow of Your Wings I rejoice..." So many nights I have lain awake, crying and shuddering, and God has reached out for me and comforted me, thrown a cloak of love deep as a shadow over me to protect me. "Thank You for Your comfort, God!" my heart whispered.
"My soul clings to You, Your Right Hand holds me fast...." I pictured myself, ready to slip over the edge into despair and nervous exhaustion, suddenly being grasped by God's strong right hand and pulled away from the brink. I started repeating those words over and over again, like a mantra: "My soul clings to You, Your Right Hand holds me fast." I was slowly relaxing, letting go of my stress... When I was next aware, it was morning and bright sunshine streamed into my room. Praising and thanking God had lulled me into quiet, healing sleep.
In his book "Prayer That Relieves Stress and Worry" (Contemplative Press), Deacon Eddie Ensley says
"As we learn to appreciate life, we discover that blessings surround us even in the bleakest of times. Giving thanks relieves our worry and stress by turning our thoughts from just ourselves to God's goodness. Think of the last week in your life. What acts of kindness were done toward you! Focus on a person that you know loves you, someone with whom you have a current good relationship. See the beauty of that person in your mind's eye. Be thankful to God that you have someone like that in your life. Think of some of the ways that God has touched you lately, and give thanks."
Many Christians pray with Scripture by reading passages over slowly with many pauses so the words can resonate in their hearts. This will calm your heart and soul! One favorite passage is God's words to each of us:
"Can a woman forget her nursing child,
or show no compassion for the child of her womb?
Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My Hands." (Isaiah 49: 16)
God is tender as a mother, strong as a father. God loves each one of us so intimately and yearns to comfort and strengthen us as we talk with Him.
"Prayer... refreshes the soul, as outer air refreshes the body. When we pray we feel stronger and fresher, as we feel physically stronger and fresher when we walk in the fresh air." (John of Kronstadt, Russian Orthodox priest)
If our souls are troubled and we begin one form of prayer and it doesn't calm us, refresh us, or give us clearer insight, we need to switch to another way of praying, or conversing with God, as I did last night. Talk with God as you do with your dearest loved one, varying the words, taking time for meaningful silences. Pour out words of thankful love and praise to God in the same way that you thank your loved ones on earth for the things they do for you. Thankfulness puts all of life into perspective!
If you reach out to God, God will never fail to reach out to you, to meet you where you are. God will always give you the comfort, strength, and assurances you need to move away from the brink of nervous exhaustion and despair. God's strong Right Hand will always hold you fast!