And yet, like a golden thread running through these various family groups, we also see Bright Love stitching us all together, with a Divine Thread that will not break. Bright Love overflows through everyone's experiences, love in spite of the differences, the various pains, trials, and griefs. Bright Love, which brings Bright Joy in its wake, so that every corner of the room takes turns resounding with laughter. This this! is an ordinary, holy family.
Just reflect upon the FIRST Holy Family. Their first family party - the birth of their son - took place in a chilly stable, and Mary probably slept much of the time, exhausted from her labor, and Joseph took care of the new baby. I realize that there are strong opinions about Mary that she did not suffer from labor pains because she was born free from sin. But, there's also strong theological opinion that since Mary's Son, divine and human and free from sin, suffered the torments of the Passion, his mother would also have been like us in all ways - including suffering labor pains.
For Jesus and Mary to be sinless does NOT mean that they did not suffer from physical pain, doubts, temptations, and confusion, just as we do. One of my favorite Marian songs is Amy Grant's beautiful "Breath of Heaven." Mary, pregnant, weary, frightened, confused, prays to the Holy Spirit, the Breath of Heaven, to support her and always be with her.
Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song)
Amy Grant
I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy father you have come
And chosen me now to carry your son
I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now
Be with me now
Breath of heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of heaven
Breath of heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me your holiness
For you are holy
Breath of heaven
Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me
Breath of heaven
Hold me together
Be forever…
Mary shows us the way by asking the Spirit to tell her what God expects of her at every moment of her life, and she honestly reveals to her God all of her pain, fear, confusion, and doubt. She knows she has a Mission - to care for this child. Because she is faithful, later she receives another mission: to care for her Son's Church.
Like Mary, each of us as individuals, and also each of our families, has been given a mission by God, and God will bring our mission to completion, in spite of our mistakes or failures or confusions. All God asks is that, like Mary, we ask God in prayer to pour His holiness over us, to be with us. What does God ask of us? Hospitality. Warm welcoming. Openness to the stranger. Reaching out to the wounded. We begin by treating our own families with hospitality and openness, reaching out with healing love to our own wounded, welcoming new family members or friends or even strangers to our get-togethers, and especially by listening to one another without judgement - something that's especially hard when we know people. Then we can reach out even further, each individual and each family in its own unique way, with our own unique gifts.
Pope Francis says (in "Gaudete Et Exsultate," "The Call to Holiness"):
"The most important thing is that each believer discern his or her own path, that they bring out the very best of themselves, the most personal gifts that God has placed in their hearts (cf. 1 For 122:7), rather than hopelessly trying to imitate something not meant for them. We are all called to be witnesses, but there are many actual ways of bearing witness....We are all called to be holy by living our lives with love and by bearing witness in everything we do, wherever we find ourselves." (11 and 14)
For most of us, life is a series of small gestures. Doing a job with integrity. Feeding children lunch, holding one's temper even when the children scrap and fight. Quietly praying a rosary in a quiet moment. Paying it forward by paying for the coffee of the person behind you in line at Tim Horton's. Refusing to indulge in mean or vindictive gossip about someone. Listening to the heart-broken. Encouraging the beaten-down. Individuals and families, acting as one, do acts of love that spread ripples of love that reach out farther than we know. Only God knows!
At our ordinary, holy family parties, we can see these small acts of love happening. People who have already eaten quietly get up so that the new arrivals have places to sit and eat. People circulate to make sure that they have greeted everyone. People mix and mingle regardless of religious or political affiliation, and, by doing so, silently let one another know that the person is much greater than their beliefs; in fact, we believe that each person has infinite worth as a child of God.
Believe that God has a mission for you as an individual and also for your family: a mission to spread love, joy, hospitality, welcome to the stranger and the vulnerable, and to be a Sign of the Peace of the Infant Who IS Peace. Follow Mary, and, like Mary, ask the Breath of Heaven to be with you always, hold you together, lighten your darkness, pour over you God's Holiness. Perhaps a wiser one could have taken your place, but YOU are the one God wants for this mission; your family is the one God has chosen to be an ordinary, holy family to build up His Kingdom in your own unique way. Believe it!