In her grief, my Mom could not bear to hear music. Ironically the grandson that bore part of her beloved husband's name was a master singer and song-writer. His voice, so like his two brothers' voices except for its special "tang," was his great joy for both singing and acting.
My mother was well into dementia when Peter died; I never told her that he was ill or that he had gone home to God. But I think she knew. Why else would she have gone home to God today on the fourth anniversary of his trip home to God? I'm sure Mom's husband and grandson came to her, calmed her, soothed her, and led her straight to Jesus. I don't believe in coincidences!
I was with Mom from early this morning, holding her hand, kissing her, lifting her oxygen mask and rubbing A and D ointment into her lips, or rubbing a moist, lemony swab across her lips and tongue, as my sister Donna did as well. It's time we treasured with her, even though her eyes never opened. Fr. Ron came this afternoon and celebrated with her and me the beautiful Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick - and I know in faith that she, always a devout Catholic, was aware of all of it. Independent, introverted and proud maverick that she always was, she chose to die in the five or so minutes that Donna left the room (Paul and I were at supper) and her nurse was poised to give her her morphine.
All I've been able to hear in my mind since her death is that lovely Easter hymn that begins "The strife is o'er, the battle won...Alleluia!" I hope that my Mom is finally able to sing and enjoy music again because this is THE hymn for her! Because our God chose to come to us and be one with us in perfect love, the power of sin and death over us came to an end. Because of the redemptive power of Jesus' death on the cross, a death chosen and accepted in the helplessness of human flesh and the omnipotence of Divine Love, Heaven's gates were flung wide open.
The essence of who Mom and Peter and my Dad ARE - the essence of who YOUR loved ones ARE, the ones who have gone before you - that essence, those souls, are safe with God till their glorified bodies and purified souls are reunited into the whole unique individuals that they are. As one day we will be, in God's time and God's grace. I kissed my Mom when we returned to the nursing home to be with her till the funeral parlor took her with them - and it was the end of kisses for her here but a promise of kisses for her in Paradise.