I called out our unexpected visitor's name to Paul, surprised and joyful, and greeted the much-leaner man with an enthusiastic hug and kiss. A few months ago, I never would have dreamed it possible that he would ever have "darkened our doorway" again.
A few months ago, our friend was out taking his daily neighborhood walk. He crossed a street when the signal changed, and was mid-way across when a car careened around the corner, ran the red light, and hurtled into him, tossing him up into the air and across the hood of another car. He hit the pavement with enough jarring force that his head was concussed, several ribs were broken, his collar bone was broken, and his back and legs were seriously injured.
Today he is a walking miracle. It's a miracle that he survived. It's a miracle that when the driver of the car whose hood he'd flown across knelt beside him in the street that he could remember his home phone number so that she could call his wife. It's a miracle that when his wife and Doctors thought he was developing dementia because of the stress of the profound physical trauma, the symptoms turned out to be the side effect of the heavy dose of steroids he was given to prevent swelling. Those dementia symptoms gradually disappeared as the steroids dose was reduced.
Our friend was in a reflective mood last night, thankful for many things. He's experienced a clear progression of bodily healing, first in the hospital, then in the rehab facility, and finally through at - home Physical Therapy. Lately he was able to go to a concert in the car of a friend. Last night he drove himself. Although his legs are still weak and uncertain, he was able to negotiate our back hall stairs.
As he spoke I remembered the times I have been physically ill, hospitalized, so weak and in pain that I was prone to tears and depression. I remembered how thankful I was day by day as God healed me through Doctors, Nurses, and the patient, loving care of family and friends. Our friend's thankfulness reignited my thankful memories.
Then, he thanked us for coming to visit him in the hospital. He said that he'd come to visit us because we'd seen him at the hospital at his worst and he wanted us to see his new, recuperated self. He thanked us for calling to visit with him on the phone and calling his wife to check up on how she was doing emotionally. I thought to myself that none of us ever really knows how our small acts of merciful kindness affect another person and give him or her the impetus to keep striving to get well, to not give up. I also asked myself how often I've taken the time to thank others who have visited me when I was ill and given me the strength to go on.
Finally our friend gave us the most surprising thanks of all. He thanked us for sending him a Hannukah card; he realized that we'd done this because we knew that because of the accident he could not attend Hanukkah services at his Temple. Then, he thanked us for NOT sending him a Christmas card as some of their friends had.
"Whaat?" Paul and I exclaimed simultaneously. "They know you're Jewish so why would they send you a card commemorating Christ's birth when you're still waiting for the Messiah?" Our friend isn't just a cultural Jew, he's a practicing Jew. Years ago, through sharing our faith in a personal God Who speaks clearly to both us and our Jewish brothers and sisters in the books of the Torah, and also especially in the Psalms, we encouraged him to begin going to Temple again. Of course we spoke of Jesus to him. But in our friend's spiritual life, Jesus is a great prophet and teacher, but not the Messiah.
"Not everyone takes the time to understand different religions like you two do," he said. On this reflective evening, he was thanking us for being friends who understand and respect the totality of who he is, including the faith sunk deep since birth into the marrow of his soul.
Both our friend and Paul and I are thankful for our Faith. Faith and worship is a precious gift to our friend; Faith and worship is a precious gift to Paul and to me. The three of us share our Faith when we speak of our belief in and prayer to the God Who created us and entered the lives of Abraham, Moses, King David, and the prophets. We all know the God Who spoke from the Burning Bush, and Who called Himself "I Am."
For our friend and for us, life is a gift to be savored, one day at a time. For our friend, life narrowed down for awhile to being thankful for simply being able to think clearly again, being able to lift a leg again, being able to sit fairly comfortably in a chair in spite of the rods in his spine. For Paul, a diabetic, life can narrow down to the gift of a good reading when he tests his blood or being able to still feel the bottoms of his feet. For me, life can narrow down to being thankful for seeing my weight drop a little when I step on the scale, or putting my hearing aids in and being able to hear voices on our T.V. set. For another friend, thankfulness revolves around a wheelchair that gives her freedom to travel. Small gifts, but well worth being consciously thankful for on a daily basis when weighty, out-of-control problems loom large in our minds. Each small bodily gift is a reminder that God created our bodies AND our souls and desires well-being for us in both body and soul!
Sometimes Faith also is savored in little increments of meaning during and after a crisis: being able to pray today with a clear mind instead of a mind fogged with grief or pain; being able to flex the muscles of belief after a storm of doubt; being able to once again stand and joyfully, actively follow the path of life as a disciple of God after a long period of lying prone, paralyzed by self- pity.
Faith, our "soul health," like good physical health, is strengthened and healed by the merciful acts of others, the spiritual Doctors, nurses, and soul technicians present in our lives. The soul friend who puts his or her arms around you when you grieve. The soul friend who can answer your questions about faith without judging you. The Confessor or spiritual director who leads you to asking for and accepting our heavenly Father's forgiveness. The friend who invites you to attend a retreat, or to visit the sick, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, instruct the ignorant. The one who is, in his or her person, a field hospital for your soul.
When we nurture a spirit of gratitude for God's gifts to us and others' gifts of merciful love, we are then ready to extend merciful caring to others.
Pope Francis often talks about the Church being like a field hospital, doors open to everyone who needs faith, hope, love, a place for the binding up of spiritual, physical, and emotional wounds, a place where even the most heinous sinner can be accepted and loved. If we Christians are the Church, then this is a description of who each of us is called to be: a merciful binder up of wounds, acting out of thankfulness for all the times and ways in which our merciful God has bound up our wounds and poured over us the healing oil of kindness. Because in a world in which more and more people act out of a sense of privilege or enlightened self-interest, there is a dearth of healing, merciful love.
Cardinal Walter Kasper says that mercy is the preeminent way in which Christians can reach out to those who have no faith. He says
"'Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us. Bestow your mercy on us as we have placed our hope in you. In you, O Lord, I have placed my hope. In eternity, I will not be put to shame.'
"Those are statements of hope, which are convincing only in faith and which will remain foreign to non-believers. Even for Christians in difficult situations, they do not trip easily over their lips. They stand not at the beginning, but rather at the end of an often long and difficult path of faith. For that journey, we need the support, the accompaniment, and the intercession of other Christians. Those who do not share the Christian faith need even more human sympathy, human intimacy, and caring assistance in such situations. We must practice mercy. That is the only persuasive answer we can give. Such practical evidence of mercy is representative hope for others. By means of our merciful action, a ray of light and warmth from God's mercy can fall in the midst of a gloomy situation. Only in this way can we make talk about God's mercy credible and persuasive; only in this way can we make it a message of hope." (from "Mercy: the Essence of the Gospel.")
Even on our darkest, most tragic days, we can find a small ray of love and hope, a small example, precious as a tiny, fragrant flower, of something God has given us that we can be thankful for. Sometimes our souls are darkened and still, and someone else's thankfulness can reignite ours. Sometimes our hope is gone and someone promises to pray for us. When we are lifted up by gratitude we are empowered to reach out in mercy to those who have no hope.
“The fragility of our era is this, too: we don’t believe that there is a chance for redemption; for a hand to raise you up; for an embrace to save you, forgive you, pick you up, flood you with infinite, patient, indulgent love; to put you back on your feet. We need mercy. We”
― Pope Francis, The Name of God Is Mercy