I still remember the day my husband and I said "Yes" to each other and joined our separate paths into one. Joy almost lifted us off our feet! Our path together seemed to stretch ahead of us like a shining ribbon of gold through fertile fields under a pure blue sunlit sky. We couldn't see our future: the wonderful experiences of love, joy, and commitment, but also the threatening clouds, the blinding downpours, the road ahead of us obscured by mud, or slicked by ice, the seemingly endless barren fields.
For a marriage to last, we need to say "yes" to each other every day, - "yes" to hope, "yes" to endurance during trials, "yes" to our God-given ability to grow more and more into committed unity. Today, years later, our "yes" to each other is far different. Today, each of us would say:
I say "yes" to the complex, beautiful, strong, weak, generous, wounded, loving person that you are, not the person I unrealistically imagined you to be. Who you really are is even more lovable than what I imagined!
I say "yes" to you and promise that even when I turn away from you momentarily in anger or discouragement, with the help of God I will turn back to you.
I say "yes" to you and the joy that has come when we've gone through a hard time together and surmounted the obstacles.
I say "yes" to you and the sorrows that we've shared together that have almost ripped us apart yet miraculously bound us to each other more strongly.
I say "yes" to you even though you sometimes misunderstand me and I cry hidden tears of pain.
I say "yes" to you because sometimes you understand me better than I understand myself.
I say "yes" to those passionate love-making experiences when I give myself as a gift to you and you give yourself as a gift to me and we know that heaven begins on earth.
I say "yes" to you even though you sometimes fall asleep when I want to make love to you.
I say "yes" to you in spite of the "hot wars" and "cold wars" we've suffered through.
I say "yes" to you and the luminous, God-inspired times when we've opened our hearts and minds and tamped down our negative emotions and we've deeply listened to each other.
I say "yes" to the times when you've been ill and grumpy and I've been frightened by your weakness and pain and I've had to will myself to stay calm and loving - and I say "yes" to doing this over and over again. Because you've said "yes" and taken care of me when I've been ill and grumpy and in pain, over and over again...
I say "yes" to your hand holding mine as we walk, no matter how old we get.
I say "yes" to loving you for who you are, regardless of how your body ages. For I will see beyond your wrinkles and fragility. I will see your ageless and seductive beauty. I will see your body illuminated by your glorious soul.
I say "yes" to you with great thanksgiving, because your love for me has carried me beyond fear to courage, beyond doubt to stability, beyond selfishness to sacrificial love. And my deep peace in your presence knows no bounds.
I say "yes" to you for life. And "yes" to staying with you through the time of your dying. And "yes" to trusting in a shared eternity with God together.
I say "yes" to you. Forever.