Maybe they are too much like us. Or our polar opposite. Maybe they have viewpoints diametrically opposed to ours. Maybe they like to bait us. Or they're too dependent or independent. They can be very nice, but sometimes we can feel quite impatient about their requests, or we can become abrupt or lose our tempers because of their actions or comments. Seeing how radically differently we feel and behave in this relationship makes us begin to wonder whether we are truly good persons.
Ordinarily we tend to deny, oppose, or fear any weakness in ourselves, because we like to always feel perfect and strong and superior. But if we have the habit of honest self-observation, and we can be honest with ourselves about our resentment, anger, and lack of patience in certain of our relationships, then we are taking the first steps towards humility, a virtue. St. Francis of Assisi made a challenging statement about this type of situation, and spoke about our need to be patient with ourselves! He said "We must bear patiently not being good and not being thought good."
For, if we are not honest about our faults, and remain feeling morally superior to others, we are blind to ourselves and make blind guides for others.
St. Paul, an honest observer of his own strengths and holiness as well as his inadequacies, said "about myself I will not boast, except about my weaknesses....a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated (too proud of his spiritual gifts and accomplishments.) Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but He said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.'" (2 Corinthians 12: 7-9.)
Our lack of patience might very well be the "thorn in the flesh" that God allows in us to keep us humble so that we can recognize that we need God's power to make us holy.
It is also good and humbling to recognize how patient God is with us. In God's eyes we must appear like teenagers with their temper tantrums, impatience, and self-involvement. If we humbly ask God to improve our vision, to help us place situations in perspective, and to be able to see others with His patient, loving, understanding gaze, we can grow in our patience with the people who push our buttons.
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