But, we are and always will be social beings, needing to belong. And even as adults, it can be so easy to give up our own opinions or be afraid to voice them if we're afraid our current peer group will reject us because of them. The fear of rejection can paralyze us so that we don't broach any controversial opinions; yet our controversial ideas may very well need to be expressed to help others examine their own opinions more carefully.
When someone disagrees with our opinion, lifestyle, or choices, our first reaction can be to get defensive or get angry because we feel that we are personally rejected. Yet being challenged in our beliefs and opinions is the only way that we can change and grow. Humility is discovering that we need to put aside our defensive egos and listen and learn. The truth is far larger and more complex than we can imagine.
And, the truth of who people are is far larger and more complex than we know. We may think we know someone thoroughly, and suddenly he/she surprises us by revealing a "side" or opinion we'd never suspect. Such a person will reveal more truth about reality to us if we stay open rather than become judgmental.
As we grow and change, searching for more and more of the Truth, we will grow stronger in our ability to voice our opinions without needing to be liked. And, not hindered by an over-dependence on our peer group, we will be free to have experiences out of our "comfort zone" so we will "belong to" as well as accept a wider and wider variety of people.
Jesus' growth into adulthood leads him to travel beyond Nazareth outside the "comfort zone" of his close-knit community. He is baptized by his cousin John the Baptist in the River Jordan, and his Heavenly Father affirms him as Beloved Son. The Holy Spirit drives him into the desert where the fire of prayer, fasting, and temptation harden and refine his resolve to center his life and his sense of self in his relationship with his Father and his mission from Him. These travels and experiences prepare him to speak more definitively of who he is - and experience the pain of a first rejection.
As Jesus first travels in his ministry, he is popular and well-liked, belonging to, or accepted by, a wide variety of people: those who are grateful because they or their loved ones have been cured; those who have been forgiven; the great crowds who follow him from town to town and hang on his every word - and sometimes his person, too, as they touch him.
His base of ministry, however, is not Nazareth, the tiny town in southern Galilee where he grew up in a close-knit network of relationships, the town where, as in "Cheers," "everybody knows your name." Instead he performs many miracles in the tiny town of Capernaum, on the northern end of the Sea of Galilee.
Because the people of Nazareth knew Jesus the child and the adolescent, they think that that "truth" is all there is to know and understand about him. When Jesus returns to Nazareth one Sabbath, they finally encounter Jesus the man reading the scroll of Isaiah in their synagogue. Fr. James Martin, S.J. describes the scene:
"When they saw Jesus stand up in the gathering on the Sabbath, some of those in attendance in Nazareth may have thought, 'This is my friend Jesus. I wonder what he'll say. He always has something interesting to say about Scripture... Or - there's Mary and Joseph's son. I remember when he was a little boy... Or perhaps - there's my carpenter...I wonder when he's going to start that job."
Jesus chooses to read aloud a passage from the Book of Isaiah that many in his hometown would have known as a prophecy of the coming Messiah: "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."
Jesus rolls up the scroll, hands it back to the attendant, and sits down. People wait, expecting him to follow the standard practice of the day and comment on the passage. Fr. Martin explains
"What he says is extraordinary: 'Today this Scripture passage has been fulfilled in your hearing.' In other words, "I am the fulfillment of the Scripture you just heard...The breaking into human history of the reign of God is not happening in some far off time, or in some distant land, but right now, and as Jesus is saying,...before your very eyes. Today and here.... Jesus is saying clearly 'The reign of God is here because I am here."
At first the people are amazed. They appreciate the gracious words that come out of his mouth. Then the reaction sets in: "Where did this man get all of this? Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas, and Simon, and are not his sisters here with us?" (possibly Jesus' step brothers and sisters from an earlier marriage of Joseph's.)
Martin explains their reaction - which quickly turns to anger, possibly even jealousy: "How can someone like this - like this! - say these things? They cannot get over the fact that someone from their hometown is saying and doing these things."
Because of their preconceived opinions that they "know" who Jesus is, and their defensive egos, they can neither understand nor accept who Jesus is. They choose to neither listen nor learn. They have no faith in him.
Jesus responds "You will tell me, 'Do here also in your hometown the things we have heard you did at Capernaum.' Truly I tell you, no prophet is accepted in the prophet's hometown." He reminds them of the prophet Elijah, who could not, because of lack of faith in him, help a single Israelite, but instead helped a woman in Zaraphath, a non-Jewish town. Jesus, like the prophets before him, will take his message and miracles to outsiders.
The people in the synagogue are filled with rage that Jesus speaks of bringing his message and ministry to outsiders, to non-Jews, to those beyond their country. They drive him from their midst and lead him to the brow of a hill to throw him off. But Jesus passes through the midst of them.
What does this mean? Jesus recognizes them; they see that he recognizes them and their hearts are made aware of what they are doing. They become aware that they are doing to Jesus what the Israelite people had always done to the prophets in the past: treat them with violence. So they let Jesus go. Yet Jesus treats them with compassion, because he knows their human limits prevent them from seeing the truth. Rejected, and sad, he leaves his hometown. He is wise enough to travel to where people will be ready to listen, learn, have faith. But he's felt the first push of the nails that will fasten him to a cross.
Yes, Jesus knows and recognizes the people in the synagogue. He must have also suspected in advance that they would react with rejection and violence to his announcement that he is the Messiah, that his message is for those beyond them. Yet he says the truth anyway. He is independent. He is fearless and free from needing others to like him, to give him their approval. He is not psychically bound to any peer group; his life is centered in God and God's Truth; he belongs first to God.
Jesus' rejection can teach us how to overcome fear of rejection, the fear that paralyzes us and keeps us from being free to grow into the independent person we are inside. The question is - What is important to us? Is it seeking the reign of God? And - Whom do we belong to? If we belong to God before anyone else, we will always speak the truth as we see it and seek the truth wherever it leads us.