Because.
He or she wasn't there. Was dead and buried.
Because.
Your health is leaving you, inch by inch, day by day.
Because.
You feel absolutely shattered, crushed, alone! No one understands! You feel shunned, avoided, because it seems as if no one wants to help you carry your pain.
Because.
Your pain leaves you mute, unable to talk. So you cannot find someone to help you carry it.
Scream. Cry. Howl. Crawl on the floor. Break things. Swear that you want nothing so much as to die.
But do not give up on life.
Love yourself. Yes! Love yourself! Love the screaming, howling, sodden mass of tears that is you enough to believe that you are beautiful, wonderful, worthy of life and that there is still enough life out there that is worth living.
Love yourself. You are unique. If you allow yourself to die, physically or emotionally, - or slowly kill yourself with food, gambling, drugs, or alcohol - a wonderful unique light leaves this world and the world is that much darker.
Love yourself. If you are feeling terrible, consuming guilt, believe that God is a tender, merciful God Who always loves you, no matter what you do. One "I'm sorry" is all that it takes. And forgive yourself. If you hold onto guilt when God has forgiven you, then you're acting as if you're "better" than God.
Love yourself. You are still needed! There are men, women, and children who look forward to seeing you, experiencing your smile, your touch. They drink in your love like a vulnerable plant drinks in sunlight and showers to survive and flourish. To leave them - physically or emotionally - is selfish.
Love yourself. If you withdraw from life, is there not one person you'd miss? Not one plant in your window that you'd miss watering? Wouldn't you miss the experience of sunrise, that heart-stopping wash of reds, and golds across the sky that promises new beginnings? What about the laugh of a child, the eyes of a pet, the get-togethers with friends who would indeed listen to you and comfort you if you'd only let them into your heart?
Love yourself enough to believe that God loves you, carries you, is closest to you when you feel most lost. Trust that God will light a path through the dark for you, will inspire you to take the right steps, will empower you to choose and act for what is best for you. Step by step. Hour by hour. Day by day.
You will have your relapses of anger and grief. You will tell God that you love God, then turn around and scream "Why?" You may even feel as if God must hate you. Not true.
We do not have a distant God, Who watches unmoved from far away.
We have a God Who chose to free the people of Israel and Who led them through a desert as arid as the one you're experiencing. Who says "I will never forget you. I have carved you on the palms of My hands." He is alive! He can free you today from emptiness and despair. Just reach out to Him!
If you are a Christian, we have a God Who chose to become a human being so in Jesus he could experience everything we experience. Jesus still has a human body in heaven, and remembers everything that he experienced as a human being. He is still actively with us!
Jesus loves you with his words in Scripture, heals you by his spiritual touch, suffers exhaustion, hunger, thirst, sickness, pain, misunderstandings and isolation right along side you, and finally loves you to and through death because he once died for us. We can never live or die alone because Jesus has human flesh and blood and weeps, suffers, and dies with us.
Our God will raise us from the dead. From the death of hopelessness. From the death of dead dreams. From the death of a will to change. God will raise us from death itself one day.
Our God had mercy on us by becoming one of us. Our God loves us passionately, intimately. Our God will never, ever let go of us.
If God loves you so much, how can you not love you? How can you give up? His tender mercies are with you daily. You only have to look up. Wake up. Raise your head and see, really see, how life surges and celebrates around you, ready to draw you into its loving energy.
Yes, beloved one, you are allowed to scream, you are allowed to cry, but do not give up on life. Our living God could not and will not ever give up on you, His precious, precious child.