Step by step, day by day, even hour by hour, we trudge through a darkness that doesn't seem to lift. Our hearts are irretrievably broken. We feel powerless, useless, alone. Yet, we are not alone in our suffering. Suffering is a "normal" part of our human condition. All people either hide suffering behind their smiles or pour it out through their anger or irritability.
I have never met a person yet who wasn't inwardly crying over someone or something. Even a person who laughs and jokes with his or her friends can suddenly privately reveal that because of medication or illness, he or she constantly battles suicidal thoughts. You are not alone in suffering. The question is, HOW will you suffer? Will you suffer chained to despair? Or will you suffer uplifted with Hope? Will you suffer by isolating yourself in bitterness? Or will you suffer uniting yourself with the God Who suffers with you?
God is not "up there" looking down on you like a separate, disinterested individual. God chose to enter into our suffering human condition when Jesus, Son of God, became a squalling, hungry, human baby in a cold manger. Jesus' life was like yours and mine: he was often hungry; he became ill; he got tired; he had good close family and friends; and he also had friends who betrayed him, walked away from him, or refused to understand him. He gave and received great love, and he endured great suffering.
Once Jesus matured and understood the mission his Father gave him, he walked a lonely road of trying to explain how good and merciful God is, how God our Father forgives our sins and welcomes us home. He was virtually homeless for three years as he walked the roads of his country, preaching, teaching, healing, great crowds of people never leaving him alone. He wept tears of blood in a garden as he prayed one night, terrified, hoping that he wouldn't have to die, because he read the signs of the times, and he knew he was a marked man. Eventually, he was tortured and crucified, a criminal's death. On his cross he cried out "My God! Why have You abandoned me?" which was the moment he felt most alone. Yet then he said "Into Your hands I commend my spirit." Christians believe that because of Jesus' courageous, all-loving, all-forgiving life and death, we are once again made one with God - at-one-ment.
Because Jesus suffered so much, in so many different ways, he understands all that every one of us goes through. And Jesus isn't a "dead and gone savior;" the risen Christ lives - in our hearts - bearing our sufferings with us and for us, guiding us, strengthening us. We can look upon his wounds on a crucifix, and realize that his wounds are like our wounds. Our wounds might be invisible to the people around us, but Christ sees them and weeps for us and with us.
When we feel as if God is hidden and silent, and feel abandoned by Him, we know that Jesus' hand holds ours because he too felt the pain of a human separation from his Heavenly Father. In the darkness of suffering, he could not see his Father's Face; His Father was there, but it was as if a cloud covered His Face so His Son could not sense His Presence. When we pray, Jesus holds our hand, and tells us "You may not sense the Presence of my Father Who is also your Father, but, trust me, He is with you." Then we too can say with him, "Father, into your hands I surrender my spirit. I place my trust in You."
But, we are also saved by Jesus' resurrection. Because Jesus "went first" to eternal life with God, we too know that the perfect joy of eternal life awaits us. More than promising us eternal life, the risen Christ also promises us new life right here, right now. What God has started in your life, He is able to finish. God is always saying to us, "Behold I make all things new - including your life." God is always offering us hope, - hope for new goodness and love in our lives, hope for new beginnings, new opportunities and experiences, hope for new attitudes in our hearts. There is no crucifixion in our life that doesn't lead to a resurrection. Fr. Richard Rohr says,
"It is much easier to appreciate the glory of Jesus’ resurrection than his painful crucifixion. Yet, Mark’s Gospel, written around 65 to 70 AD, focuses on Jesus’ “suffering servanthood.” Christians believe that we are “saved by the death and resurrection of Jesus.” The key is to put both together. We need to deeply trust and allow both our own dyings and our own certain resurrections, just as much as Jesus did! This is the full pattern of transformation. If we trust both, we are indestructible. That is how Jesus “saves” us from meaninglessness, cynicism, hatred, and violence—which is indeed death."
Being a Christian also means trusting that our suffering is NOT useless. If we consciously unite our sufferings with the sufferings of Jesus, we help to, as St. Paul tells us, make up what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ. We become co-redeemers with Christ. Fr. Rohr tells us,
"Many of the happiest and most authentic people I know love a God who walks with crucified people and thus reveals and “redeems” their plight as God’s own. For them, God is not observing human suffering from a distance but is somehow in human suffering with us and for us. Such a God includes our suffering in the co-redemption of the world, as “all creation groans in one great act of giving birth” (Romans 8:22)
"Is this possible? Could it be true that we “make up in our bodies all that still has to be undergone for the sake of the Whole Body” (Colossians 1:24)? Are we somehow partners with the divine? Of course we are! In fact, I think that is the whole point. The mystic knows there is only one suffering and we all participate in it together: the eternal suffering love of God.
"Jesus takes on our suffering, bears it, and moves through it to resurrection. This is “the paschal mystery.” We too can follow this path, actively joining God’s loving solidarity with all suffering since the foundation of the world."
Nothing we suffer is useless then. A trip to the dentist, a sinus infection, a knee surgery, a break-up with a boy friend or girl friend, menopausal heat waves, tears over a sick pet, mental illness, - all of it is precious to God, if we give it to Him, and all of it is a way for us to grow in compassion for others who suffer. Blessed Oscar Romero said, “There are many things that can only be seen through eyes that have cried.”
Knowing that Jesus understands our suffering, that the risen Christ walks with us, helping us carry our cross, and that we are partners with Christ if we offer our suffering to him to help co-redeem the world, doesn't mean that our suffering lessens or even changes. No, we are still weeping in the darkness. Our pain is just as grinding. But our inner attitude has changed.
We know, deep down, that Christ is our Anchor, holding us steady. Christ is our Light, perhaps hidden in darkness, but always with us. We know that our suffering does not make us useless or spiritual lepers. Instead of giving in to bitterness, we can have Hope in our hearts. We may feel bitingly lonely at times, but in our hearts we are never alone. Jesus, Emmanuel, God-With-Us dwells there, creating new life for us out of our daily deaths. Whatever good has started in your life - to redeem and transform you - God is able to finish. And God will even transform you into a New Creation through your suffering.