There is no one answer to darkness. When darkness comes from our own fear, depression, and anger, it is a darkness produced by our own spirits that is hiding God from us. Then indeed we need to push ourselves past paralysis and fear to speak into the darkness, trusting God is there:
"Dear God, I hand over to you those people, those events, over which I am so anxious. I feel as if I am dying inside; please resurrect my faith and my trust in You."
God hears those prayers, and God's strength is a strength we can lean on. God's life, God's grace, God's peace can flood our hearts even in the darkness, because we know God will direct our choices, and God's Light will come.
When others' attitudes, their ridicule, non-understanding, or antagonism, are the source of our darkness, because their attitudes seem to devour our self-confidence and our well-being, then it is time to remember who we truly are. Fr. Richard Rohr, O.F.M , reminds us:
"At this very moment, a God who is Infinite Reality itself is giving reality to us right now. If God would stop creating you into your chair at the count of three, then at the count of three your chair would be empty—because you're nothing, absolutely nothing, outside and other than God. If at the count of three, God would cease loving the universe into existence, the universe would disappear because the universe is God's body. The world embodies the Infinite Love that is Reality giving itself away as this universe. This is true of all creation: Brother Sun and Sister Moon, stones and trees and stars and birds and so on.
"St.Teresa of Avila says our soul refers to our God-given godly nature. Your God-given godly nature is the infinite reality of you. You're worth all that God is worth. You are as precious as God is precious. You have a value that cannot be calculated. Teresa says this is why we don't understand ourselves. To understand yourself you'd have to understand God, who right at this moment is loving you into existence as the very reality of yourself and your nothingness without God. This is crystal clear, isn't it? No wonder we can't figure ourselves out!"
If we truly believe, deep down inside, that we are infinitely precious because we have a God-given, godly nature, and if we are consciously trying to live WITH and IN God, no one should be able to REALLY put us down, or destroy our self-confidence, or make us doubt what we do or say.
When we are terrified about our country and world, in anguish over the famines, diseases, racism, sexism, and human trafficking, discouraged by our fellow citizens' lack of faith and lack of concern, and we feel helpless, it's time to remember that no one is ever totally helpless. If God lays on our hearts a deep concern and caring for a particular group or a particular issue, then God is placing that part of His kingdom into our hands for our mission and ministry. We need to pray over it and ask God, "What do You want me to do?"
Perhaps God is asking us to donate to flood or famine relief. To donate clothing to a Thrift Shop. To hold babies in a N.I.C.U. unit. To work to raise money for the cure of a disease. To speak out for the helpless, like the unborn, or immigrants, Dreamers, or refugees, or to work to save Mother Earth from environmental pollution. To reach out in friendship to those who are lonely or afraid. Whenever our hearts move in compassion, it is God's compassion within us moving our hearts. Such compassion can even lift us out of the self-imposed darkness of self-absorption and self-pity over our own troubles.
Darkness can arise in us because of fear of speaking the truth, and what the repercussions in our lives will be if we do. However, Jesus himself, Son of God, told us "I Am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life." To be a Christian is to be unafraid to seek for the truth of any situation, even if it appears to challenge everything we believed before. Yet, it literally takes God's grace to give us the courage and wisdom to accept the truth when we find it. In the 1970's, researchers at Stanford University documented an unexpected phenomenon: people tend not to change their minds, even when facts prove them wrong. Instead, they double down on the false belief. Which means that if we speak the truth about any moral issue, we will offend and enrage somebody. Only the Holy Spirit- bestowed courage that we received at Baptism can enable us to speak the truth even when covered by the darkness of others' anger, dismissal, and retribution.
Dag Hammarskjöld represented Sweden as a delegate to the United Nations in 1949 and again from 1951 to 1953. Receiving fifty-seven votes out of sixty, Hammarskjöld was elected Secretary-General of the United Nations in 1953 for a five-year term and reelected in 1957. He was the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize in 1961.
In a brief piece written for a radio program in 1953, Dag Hammarskjöld spoke of the influence of his parents: "From generations of soldiers and government officials on my father's side I inherited a belief that no life was more satisfactory than one of selfless service to your country - or humanity. This service required a sacrifice of all personal interests, but likewise the courage to stand up unflinchingly for your convictions. From scholars and clergymen on my mother's side, I inherited a belief that, in the very radical sense of the Gospels, all men were equals as children of God, and should be met and treated by us as our masters in God."
He once said, "Never, 'for the sake of peace and quiet,' deny your own experience or convictions. The only kind of dignity which is genuine is that which is not diminished by the indifference of others. Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for. Never measure the height of a mountain until you have reached the top. Then you will see how low it was."
I believe that what transforms people into saints is their pure stubbornness and trust in God, even if their life is currently difficult. They refuse to give up, in spite of darkness, if they believe that God is asking them to do something for Him. That "something" could be staying with a difficult relationship or job, or refusing to be intimidated by others, or enduring tragedies. A case in point is the following saint, whose life was lived up-hill all the way:
In 1816, A Frenchman, Eugene de Mazenod, founded the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate (initially Missionaries of Provence). In 1823, he was appointed Vicar General of Marseilles, and in 1837, he was appointed Bishop of Marseilles. In spite of the heavy responsibilities of being a Bishop, he continued to work tirelessly for the spread of his Order of Missionaries. In 1841, he sent the first Oblate missionaries to Canada and Ireland and England.
Much of the Oblates' ministry was to the most abandoned:
"Thus, at Aix, for example, besides the church that belongs to their house, where the members of the Congregation are attached offer divine service and every evening after prayer give an informal instruction to the people, they are assigned to give religious instruction to prisoners, hearing their confessions, something unheard of before, and when one of them is condemned to death, they accompany him to the scaffold.
Besides that, they do the religious services at the hospital for incurables, for foundlings, for charity and at the college."
Eugene died in 1861 on May 21, and in 1975, was beatified by Pope Paul VI as a missionary passionate for Jesus Christ and for the Church. In 1995, he was canonised by Pope John Paul II. Today, his missionary spirit continues in some 4000 Missionary Oblates in 67 countries, thousands of laity in the Mazenodian family throughout the world, and the members of some 44 institutes of consecrated life connected to his charism. Many find in St Eugene an intercessor for families in difficulties.
At one point in his life, Eugene wanted to be able to send his Oblate missionaries to the Kingdom of Sardinia. He knew Sardinia desperately needed their help. But the Sardinian Government officials refused him. St. Eugene commented,
"I have done everything that depended on me, nothing remains but to lament how hard it is to do good in circumstances where so many succeed in doing evil and to adore God and his ways even when I find them very hard."
Isn't that a beautiful statement of trust in a good God, even when His Ways are a Mystery to us? To adore God and His ways, even when we are in darkness and frustration and grief. To adore God even when we've done our best, and our best doesn't seem good enough. To adore God even when in our darkness we tell Him that His ways are very, very hard.
Do we really believe that we are infinitely precious, that our true identity is from God, that we have a God-given, godly nature? If we do, then we can keep going, even when others misunderstand us or work against us. Dag Hammerskjold often felt exhausted, frustrated, misunderstood and persecuted - yet he won the Nobel Peace Prize. St. Eugene believed that he'd done his best, and his best wasn't good enough - but he continued to adore God even though His ways were hard - and today his missionaries number over 4,000 and they're active in 67 countries. God produces fruit and guides us and guards us even when we're asleep, even when we're in darkness, even when life as we know it doesn't make sense. Because, from where God is, there is always and only Light. God will always eventually bring light and goodness to our lives. All we have to do is trust and wait on Him.