How many times in our lives do we feel as if our inner light has gone out, leaving us in darkness? We no longer shine our personal, vivacious light out to the world: our eyes are dull and saddened, our faces bereft of smiles, our voices flat. We are so emotionally and physically exhausted that even our posture has changed; we feel bent over as a mighty tree's branches are twisted by a mightier wind storm.
So many events in our lives can leave us lightless and in the dark. Illness - our own or a loved one's. Job loss. Devastating financial stress. Death - the death of a loved one, the death of a marriage, the death of a friendship. Addictions. Depression. Guilt. A pervasive sense of worthlessness. Our inner darkness swallows up every candle ray of hope, of faith, of love.
We were born to be, like the angels, bearers of Good News to the world: Alleluia! Our Lord has come! When our light goes out, we can no longer fulfill our mission. And the Christmas tree of our personal lives, those interwoven branches of people who need us to guard, guide, and enlighten them, is thrown into darkness as well.
Our Christmas tree angel no longer worked. Sadly we had to lay her aside and purchase a new one. But God never lays any of us aside! God never thinks any of us are worthless when our light goes out, even if we feel like no more than moving shadows in the world. God never says to any of us "I no longer want you or need you - I'm purchasing a new one."
For, do you know what? Our light was never ours to begin with. God designed each one of us and placed those light circuits of faith, hope, and love throughout our bodies and souls. Yes, life's tragedies can grieve us so deeply that our circuits become faulty and our light goes out, temporarily. But we don't have to rely on ourselves to become light-filled and joy-filled again. Christ is the Light Who has dawned upon the world. All we have to do is to prayerfully invite God to enter the house of our souls, so His Holy Spirit can rewire our faulty circuits. Then, once more our light will go on, plugged into Jesus, our greatest Power Source! The Light of God's love, greater than any other love in our lives, will bathe every cell of our bodies so that we can live new life in Him!
When our inner light has been extinguished, and we feel useless, we have to remember and trust God's all-embracing and faithful love for us. He is the One Who can bring us back to inner life and light. When, in a time of quiet prayer, we ask for His healing touch, we can imagine how God is coming to our aid, in the same way we can imagine the scene when we pray the psalm "The Lord Is My Shepherd."
We can imagine how God lifts us up into His tender, skillful hands and examines us carefully, looking to see what has happened to our inner circuits to cause us to no longer shine. We feel His fingers touching the sources of our pain, our stress, our lack of self-worth. His fingers draw out the pain, realigning every part of us that has been twisted and made unrecognizable. All we have to do is to rest in Him, look up into His Face, be comforted by His healing hands holding us, bask in His love, and abandon ourselves to the actions of the Divine Electrician, the Divine Healer.
If our hearts are broken, our light will come back slowly, gradually, as much as we can handle. But - oh, what a difference, as the shadows that obscured our vision drift back, revealing the true lights and colors of our lives! Our re-kindled inner light illuminates our difficulties and troubles more clearly, helping us to take wise steps, make knowledgable decisions. The world that we could not see clearly because of our bitterness and tears is now revealed as full of the glory of God. Every person is beautiful as a Christmas ornament. The love relationships that weave around us glow like golden tinsel. The more faith, hope, and love flood back into our being, the more brightly and self-confidently we shine - and everyone around us is blessed by our presence, as we are blessed by theirs.
Ask God to help you shine as much as possible this Christmas. Regardless of your troubles or your grieving, there is still light and love within you. Allow your Lord to dawn on you in radiant beauty - and then catch on fire from His love.