When we are living even a single day of our lives, there are countless questions we might have about our actions: should I be spending time on this? Should I be spending time on this movie? How much time should I give to my child? My spouse? Myself?
If all our decisions are based on this question - how can I best follow Christ and come closer to God? - the wonderful news is that God has given us a head and a heart to help us make decisions that will deepen our relationship with Him.
Some decisions, even big ones, are easy, because, after prayer, the decisions seem so totally clear, so "right" to our heads and hearts, that we have no further doubts or questions.
For other, more difficult decisions, we can first use our heads to make lists of pros and cons and ask people we trust for advice. After we've used our heads to explore the facts, we can next genuinely trust our hearts, our feelings, to give us good advice.
When we use our hearts, our feelings, to enlighten us, we can "try on" different decisions and see if they awaken feelings of spiritual consolation or feelings of spiritual desolation in us.
When we look at a possible decision and are attentive to the feelings that arise in us, feelings of spiritual consolation give us an increase in hope and faith in God, and love for God. We feel an increase in positive spiritual energy, a sense that we are moving closer to God. When we look at a possible decision, and are attentive to our feelings, and we experience a darkness of soul, a disquiet, a disturbance, a sense of agitation or renewed temptations, we are experiencing spiritual desolation, a felt sense that this decision would move us away from God. Sometimes, a spirit of desolation, of restlessness, can actually be a sign that points us in a new healthy, holy direction.
Spiritual consolation when we make a decision is not merely "feeling peaceful." Some decisions are so difficult that at first we might feel as if we've chosen to do something we might not "like." Jesuit Karl Rahner says wisely
"How often I have found that we grow to maturity not by doing what we like, but by doing what we should. How true it is that not every 'should' is a compulsion, and not every 'like' is a high morality and true freedom."
Doing what we "should" instead of what we "like" is not a very popular idea in this age of self-gratification and emphasis on "self-fulfillment." But doing what we should can be true spiritual wisdom and true freedom to become more of who we are in God..
When my husband and I were making the decision about whether we should accept our Bishop's call to become Co-Pastoral Administrators of a parish, it was a hard decision to make because we were literally "walking blind" on a journey. "Pastoral Administrator" was a fairly new position for Deacons and Lay people in our Diocese, and we did not know how the parishioners would react to our leadership since we were not priests. We did not know how the responsibility would affect our marriage or our family life. In other words, we weren't sure whether we really "LIKED" the idea!
But the real question was whether we SHOULD accept the titles and responsibility. The parish needed us to say "yes" because otherwise it might close. Many, many people's lives were dependent on our being generous with our lives. The top "layer" of our emotions rocked in uneasy waves, but deep underneath, God gave us great consolation of spirit, deep stirrings of faith, hope, and love when we thought of accepting our Bishop's call. And so we did. During those turbulent years, God gave us His consolation many times, assuring us that we were "on the right track." And we both grew in spiritual maturity more than we could have dreamed was possible.
Every time we make a decision, then, we should offer our decision to God, and pray for spiritual consolation as God's gift to us. If we ask ourselves about a decision, "Will this lead me closer to God, or away from God?" and our answer causes the spiritual consolations of faith and trust in God, and love for God, to fill our hearts, we can trust that we've made the best decision on our journey to God.
If we maintain this spiritual approach to decision-making as a way to come closer to God, we will be ready whenever we suddenly have to make serious decisions. We have already said "Yes" to God as the most important Goal of our life's journey, and God will not fail to inspire us or give us the strength we need! Even when the train tracks end, and there's only a faint trail barely visible; even when we're exhausted and the decision is agonizing, God will not fail us if we want to be with Him with all our hearts.
"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31.)