These are the times when a mother can draw on her own life experiences to share how God works in our lives. These are the times when she can teach her children to trust themselves and trust God, because she has the long view. She knows what God has done for her.
"First, own up to what you did. Then, remember that God forgives you, so you have to forgive yourself for messing up."
"Believe in yourself - I believe in you. God believes in you, and God has given you so many gifts."
"He's a bully. He lies. Don't let his words get to you. Ask God to help you be strong."
"Maybe she/he doesn't love you as much as you love them, but you've learned from this relationship, and God has someone special in mind for you. Just be patient."
Mothers can understand their children's lives so well because they've learned over the years that God has always been present in their lives. Sometimes they've discovered that by looking back in memories and finally seeing the pattern. Pointing out to their children that God is always at work in their lives as well, pointing out signs of God's presence there, helps them develop that spiritual optimism and hope that nothing we do or experience is wasted because God always brings good out of evil for those who love Him.
Mothers and children teach each other and learn from each other. Sharing together about their lives, their concerns, their failures, their growth, develops an ongoing dialogue between mothers and children in which love and trust deepens and grows.
"...a good mother can recognize everything that God is bringing about in her children, she listens to their concerns and learns from them. The spirit of love which reigns in a family guides both mother and child in their conversations; therein they teach and learn, experience correction and grow in appreciation of what is good. " (Pope Francis).
Even once our children are adults, the need for these quiet times together is still there, sometimes even more intensified in meaning and grace. Each conversation is a building block in an edifice of love that can stand the test of time.
If we do not have this kind of a relationship with our mother, we need to find spiritual mothers who can love us and give us spiritual strength and wisdom. And if we have no children, we need to find other people in our lives whom we can nurture. And it is also good to remember that we call the Church our mother for a reason: "The Church is a mother, and she ...preaches in the same way that a mother speaks to her child, knowing that the child trusts that what she is teaching is for his or her benefit, for children know that they are loved." (Pope Francis).