Nothing frustrates me more than opening my washer and lifting out clothing speckled with wet tissues. Sure, I know that the lint trap on my dryer is going to to remove most of the white fuzz. The frustrating thing is that I THOUGHT I REMEMBERED checking every pocket for tissues, loose change, you name it. I thought I checked - but the repercussions of not doing what I thought I did affected my whole wash load.
Isn't that life, though? We THINK we've done something, and IN REALITY we've forgotten to do it - and the repercussions spread much farther and affect more people and situations than we could ever imagine, or even personally deal with. The important matter, however, is how we deal with our own response (s) to what has happened or is happening.
- Do we get embarrassed, angry and bent out of shape because our failing has fractured the oh-so-perfect-image of ourselves that we want everyone to see?
- Do we use the occasion to sit and grimly review every one of our faults and failings, mentally whipping ourselves, telling ourselves that this screw-up just reinforces our poor opinion of ourselves?
- Do we inwardly seethe with jealousy, competitiveness, and frustration because, once again, we've demonstrated to ourselves and everyone else that we're "not as good as," "not as talented as," "not as competent as" - and we can each fill in the name of the person or persons whom we feel most insecure about being compared to.
Yet all of this doesn't matter! Because Jesus has taught us what is most important: "Rejoice only that your name is written in Heaven!" Our joy - our security - our very self-hood - comes from believing that, in the depths of our souls, we are gloriously united with God. We know that the past - even the past of just a few minutes ago - doesn't really matter because God is always about making things new in our lives, and making US new! No matter what we do or don't do or forget to do or do badly, if we rely on God, God will make a way in the desert of our lives. God will inundate the parched ground of our hearts with streams of healing, forgiving love so new re-pottings of grace can send leaves into the sunlight.
Fr. Richard Rohr says that if we could only trust that our primary union with God as God's beloved child with a unique name is the core truth of our existence, it would change our whole life agenda. He says, in his book "Immortal Diamond,"
"Life is not a matter of creating a special name for ourselves, but of uncovering the name we have always had....Our core anxiety that we are not good enough is resolved from the beginning, and we can stop all our climbing, contending, criticizing, and competing."
Why, he asks, should we try to make ourselves look good? It's like accessorizing our very small, very fragile self. It's a massive waste of time and energy. Once we honestly accept our faults, failings, and littleness, and then concentrate instead on the great mystery and work of God taking place within us, we can relax and Let God Be. We can stop worrying about all those "wet, shredded tissues" we manage to regularly forget about or misplace so that they routinely clog up our life's machinery. Rohr reminds us -
"Find God, the primary source, and the spring water will forever keep flowing (Ezekiel 47: 1-12; John 7:38) naturally. Once you know that, the problem of inferiority, unworthiness, or low self-esteem is resolved from the beginning and at the core."
Because, you see, you know that God is the One doing all the work. Rohr says
"St Teresa of Avila...described how you can either keep digging the channel or find the actual spring and just let it flow toward you, in you, and from you. Her entire mystical theology is about finding that Inner Flow and not wasting time digging trenches."
Does this sound impractical, unrealistic, hard to do? It isn't. It's, as little St. Therese says, allowing God our Father to lift us up in the elevator of His arms.
Today Pope Francis canonized little St. Therese's parents, Louis and Marie-Zelie Martin, the first couple to be canonized together as official saints. They were simple people. Marie-Zelie was a lacemaker, a woman with a head for business, who ran her own business. Louis was a jeweler and watch-maker. In the meantime, they had nine children, three of whom died in infancy while one, Helene, died at the age of five and a half. The remaining five girls, including St. Therese, became nuns.
The Martins were devout Catholics, teaching their children to pray daily and attend Mass regularly. They also practiced Christian charity, visiting the sick and elderly and welcoming the occasional vagabond to their table. They surrounded their children with warm, continuous affection. Is it any wonder that Therese could picture God as a loving Father, and trust Him to lift her in His arms as her own father did so often?
During his homily today, Pope Francis said "The holy spouses Louis Martin and Marie-Zelie Guerin practiced Christian service in the family, creating day by day an environment of faith and love which nurtured the vocation of their daughters, among whom was St. Therese of the Child Jesus."
If we trust that we are God's children, if we allow God's love to flow through us, simple, pure and dependable as water, if we live, day to day, in humble, unassuming Christian service, we can rejoice. Because God is constantly doing new things in us! It doesn't matter what we forget, it doesn't matter that we fail. Keep your eyes on God. See - He is doing a new thing in you. See - He is making a new way. Do you not perceive it?