For some reason, at some inner level we believe those words, even if we know they were said maliciously with a desire to hurt us. When we remember those words today, we shrivel up inside as if we were vulnerable children. Cruel words are weapons, and even if they aren't true, or are only partially true, they rip our souls apart. Our souls may heal on the outside, but the weapon is poison-tipped. The words continue to fester and re-infect us with self-hate every time we remember them and we don't tell them that they are lies.
I still remember insulting words my mother hurled at me in anger.
I remember people savagely ripping apart my skills as a teacher.
I remember a counselor I barely knew telling me that I could never be a pastoral counselor, based on a short conversation we'd just had.
If I had lived my life believing all those words, I'd have no self-esteem, I'd have quit teaching, instead of correcting my techniques and growing, and I never would have used my pastoral counseling skills. But even today, I still have anxiety attacks when I teach or counsel, because deep down inside, I'm still not totally healed.
People always have hidden motives for the things they say to us. Perhaps they give us a portion of the truth. Then we need to be self-aware and accept the truth, and change what we need to change. But sometimes people say things because they are angry or jealous or they want the power of lording over us, or they're simply selfish and cruel, and they manage to attack us where we are the most vulnerable. Then we need to tell ourselves that these are lies! Otherwise, the poison festers inside us, and we believe the worst about ourselves - and we tell ourselves more lies:
We tell ourselves the lie that we're worthless.
We tell ourselves the lie that we're unlovable.
We tell ourselves the lie that people aren't worth the trouble of loving them because all they do is hurt us.
If the pain is bad enough, we over-eat, get drunk, shoot up, gamble away our life savings, just to numb the pain. But these unhealthy habits are just more manifestations of self-hate, or, at least, signs that we don't love ourselves enough.
The only medicine that will heal us is Love: the Power of Self-Love, and the Power of God's Love.
Love yourself! You are beautiful, powerful, unique - the only one of You in this world. Your inner self is overflowing with gifts and talents. There are people in your life who wait to see you and hear you speak, because you light up their world. There are animals or plants who are dependent on you to care for them.
Your smile alone can give someone something to live for today. You may not be able to do anything perfectly, but do you know what? No one can! If you are willing to give and use what you have, you will make this world a better place.
Let God love you! Remember that you would not exist if God had not chosen to create you. Remember that God has chosen to live inside you, and your soul is a palace magnificent beyond your comprehension. Remember that God walks with you and talks to you continually, because God loves to be with you - and wants to be with you for eternity! Remember that God has created you in love and created you TO BE LOVE - Love is your identity. You are a living fountain of love, and the more you pour yourself over others, the more love you will have to give, and the more you give love, the more you will be healed inside.
Don't listen to the hateful, lying voices inside you and around you that try to poison and tear down the marvelous truth of who you are. Don't let anyone convince you to hate yourself. Love yourself! Love yourself for yourself, and love yourself so that you have love to give. If you withdraw from this world, the night sky will have lost a precious unique star, and the garden of the world will have lost a precious rose, and the forests of the world will have lost a sturdy tree. You are light, fragrance, and strength for those around you. Love yourself!