I fear I will not be able to experience the joy of Christmas because my heart contracts with grief at the thought of the empty chairs at the family table -
But then the Holy Spirit reminds me that my heart also expands with love when I think of all the new faces, young and old, who have surprised me by entering my life since last Christmas. "The Lord heals the broken-hearted, binds up their wounds, numbers all the stars, calls each of them by name..." (Psalm 147)
I know the Lord is near, but the darkness of fear surrounds me when I hear or read the News, and I think of the poverty, homelessness, joblessness, racism, and fear of deportation afflicting the people in our country, the fear of losing or not gaining health insurance or Medicare or Medicaid, the erosion of public and private morality -
But then the Holy Spirit reminds me that politicians never have the last word. "Put no trust in princes, in mere mortals powerless to save. When they breathe their last, they return to the earth; that day all their planning comes to nothing. Happy are they whose help is Jacob's God, whose hope is in the Lord, their God, the maker of heaven and earth, the seas and all that is in them, Who keeps faith forever, secures justice for the oppressed..." (Psalm 146)
I know the Lord is near, but then I read my email, or answer the phone, and I weep with anxiety about family members and friends who are devastated by physical and emotional pain -
But then the Holy Spirit reminds me that "You, Lord, are near to all who call upon you, to all who call upon You in truth....You hear their cry and save them."
We should never feel guilty about feeling fearful. It's not a sign of weak faith. Remember that the Angel Gabriel faces a frightened Mary - frightened as we are, by the future, by the unknown, - and has to say to her
"FEAR NOT."
When Joseph finds out that Mary is pregnant - knowing that he is not the father of the child, and not knowing what to do next because he genuinely loves her and doesn't want to publicly shame her, - a dream tells him
"DO NOT BE AFRAID to take Mary home as your wife."
Read these lines from Paul's letter to his community at Philippi:
"Jesus understands fear. He understands us when in prayer we confess our worst fears to him. But he tells us that hope is stronger than despair, love is stronger than hate, and life is stronger than death. Nothing - not poverty, not injustice, not cruel rulers like Herod - can thwart God's desires in the world. But we must participate in those desires because God acts through us.
"To those who lived in that world of fear, it must have seemed absurd that an infant would be the answer to that fear. But, improbably enough, it was true. For nothing is impossible with God." ( the Editorial in "America's" Dec. 19-26th issue)
Yes, it's human nature to fear. But the perfect love of God for us can cast out our fear. A God Who is as near as the lifting of our hearts to Him. A God who is faithful from age to age. A God Who answers prayer in surprising ways - even answering a people's prayers for a Messiah by coming as a helpless, dependent baby. If we still our souls, trusting in this faithful but unpredictable God, a wonderful peace can flood our hearts. A peace that will allow us to enjoy and relax during Christmas-time regardless of the practical concerns that could imprison us in anxiety. A peace that will empower us to act in the name of all the oppressed who depend on our deeds of charity and on our fearless voices.
Peace to you and your household this Christmas! And remember the angel Gabriel's further words to Mary: "FOR NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD."