You know what they say - "Never discuss Religion or Politics." Wow, is that accurate. Yet, is there any topic that is safe to discuss? I don't think so. When we hear someone espouse beliefs or opinions that are diametrically opposed to ours, our first inner reaction is always "How can s/he BELIEVE that?" Or, if we read about or see someone doing something which is diametrically opposed to our value system, we grow angry, bitter, or disillusioned.
Which is why whenever we feel negative emotions caused by great impatience with another, it's so important, at that point, to meet God in our hearts and to meditate before the words of our mouths disrupt a relationship or run down a reputation. God will always tell us to have patience with others. It takes a largeness of heart which only God can give us to understand that others' beliefs and opinions on any topic were formed through years of their individual experiences, good and bad, and sometimes traumatic, that impacted them deeply. And others' personalities shape their responses to the world, just as ours do.
Sometimes, too, our major anger at impatience is directed at our own impatience! We can find ourselves inwardly yelling at ourselves, judging ourselves harshly for being impatient with others! But if we can accept our own impatience as part of the fragile human condition, as something that happens, and then we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and try all over again, - we'll be that much more patient with others.
Fr. Richard Rohr talks about a young St. Therese of Lisieux counseling a fellow nun who was impatient with her own impatience. Therese asked her "Sister, can you be willing to be patient with yourself until God gives you the willingness to be patient with the other sisters?"
Letting God enlarge our hearts so that we can be gentle with both ourselves and others can only happen when we acknowledge that God is God, not us. It is for God to finish the work of making each of us holy, and God proceeds at the rate of speed that each one of us can handle. Sometimes, as we get older, and have moved through many different stages of immaturity, we can look at a younger person and see ourselves and our former narrow, black-and-white opinions and beliefs operative in them. If we go to God in our hearts, God will remind us that yes, we did think like that once, but we grew more mature and mellow, and God intends that they will, too - When it's God's time, and in God's way.
Another spiritual director, Jean Pierre de Caussade, wrote " It is a great grace to see others behaving badly without feeling bitterness, indignation, impatience, or even disturbance. If, for good reasons, you speak about it, watch over your heart and your tongue, so that nothing may escape you that would not be approved by God.. .... Often ask God to give you great charity and circumspection, and then remain tranquil..."
How often have we felt self-righteously angry with another because of his or her words, decisions, or deeds - maybe misdeeds - and then, hot-headed, we've ranted and raved to someone else about the situation? And then they've passed our words on - and on - and eventually our words came back to haunt us? Maybe later we even find out that we've misjudged the person whose reputation we've smeared.
There always has to be a good, ethical reason to "speak against" another, and/or reveal things about him/her. If we do speak, it needs to be only to someone who needs to know and can, if necessary, remain silent about it. Venting to let off steam or to be deliberately spiteful are never good reasons to speak in impatient anger about someone else. Before we say one word, we need to ask ourselves "Would God approve my saying this?"
And, if we challenge others' opinions, speak a moral truth to them, we always need to speak with kindness, sensitive to their personalities and dignity.
I wonder what God thinks of the various political digs and slurs that politicians and commentators are making during this "Hunting Season" before elections. I wonder what God thinks of the way people from one part of the country stereotype and belittle people from other parts of the country.
I wonder what God makes of the various personality conflicts that occur in every family and neighborhood and church group in the world - without people realizing that it's not always a matter of who's right and who's wrong but a simple matter of different personalities having different responses to and insights about any given situation. Different responses are supposed to clarify a situation, not send people into opposing camps!
And, in wondering about God's responses to these people and these situations, I can laugh at myself, because in mentioning them, I betray my own impatience with them!
Caussade's advice continues: " Practice yourself... in being patient with regard to yourself and in this perfect submission to the Divine Will. When you have acquired this you will enjoy great peace, and not distress yourself about anything, nor get out of humor with yourself, but put up with yourself with the same gentleness which you should use toward your neighbor."
Of course, the way God teaches us how to be patient with ourselves and others is by giving us many opportunities to learn! If we "put on the mind and heart of Christ" and leave all to Him and love all in spite of their imperfections, we'll have great inner peace and give others peace as well.